Changes
by onefee27
Summary: This is a multichapter promo-fic for the I Write the Songs contest. Sookie & Eric are strangers, who are both very different people, but they have one thing in common - their dearly departed best friend Pam & she's left them with a huge surprise.
1. Chapter 1

So, this is my multi-chapter promo fic for the I Write the Songs Contest hosted by my wonderful beta, **Northwoman - **who beta'd this story! **So thanks, woman!**

And as for the contest, I'm gonna be a judge! How cool is that?

Anyway, what began as an idea for a one-shot grew into a multi-chapter fic, just two days ago. Who'da thunk sticking to a 12,000 word limit would be difficult! LOL! But, like I told **Northwoman**, I love words and I was finding it increasingly difficult to tell the story I wanted to tell in so few of them.

She twisted my arm (she really didn't) and talked me into turning my one-shot into a multi-chapter story.

So, that said, you'll be getting one chapter of this each Tuesday till it's finished. I'll give you a guestimate of about 10-12 chapters. I'm currently almost done with chapter 7. I'll also tease the chapters each week before posting them, on my blog. I think I'll do that on Tuesdays as well, so I'll post a snippet from chapter two, tonight. Watch out for that.

For those that don't follow it, there's a link on my fanfiction(dot)net profile.

So now, back to the contest ...

The contest is not just accepting one-shot entries this year. It's accepting multi-chapter entries as well - hence this promo-fic!

So, this is the time where I say, if you are inspired by a song to write, you should enter this contest. If you aren't, then turn on your radio and I bet you will be, and then you can enter too ...

Check out the contest profile page http : / www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2491610/I_Write_The_Songs.

There you'll find other great promo fics and a list of the rules.

I really hope you all enjoy my story, but before we get to it, I gotta say **Charlaine Harris owns SVM**, not me. I'm just having a little fun with her characters. Also,** the song Changes belongs to David Bowie**! It's a great song, so if you don't know it, go check it out! Also, this is a mature story. **If you can't handle recreational drug use or what I'll call functioning alcoholism, this may not be the story for you, although there's a lot more to it than that ... (hint ... it's called Changes)**

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**Part 1: Changes Come When You Least Expect Them**

It was a sunny, summer morning in the Garden District, when music erupted from the alarm, which sat on a bedside table, in the home of Eric Northman. At the very same time, in a loft a few blocks over in the Warehouse District, the same exact song unwelcomely jarred Sookie Stackhouse out of an Ambien induced stupor.

Little did either of them realize at the time, the significance of the song which woke them, or the fact their lives were about to become intertwined, forever.

_*s*S*s*  
_

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

Eric rolled over, groaning at the pounding in his head – which the annoying song roaring from his clock radio only made worse. He fucking hated David Bowie.

_Turn and face the strange_

He'd barely slept at all; hence the fact he felt like complete and utter shit.

He was in complete denial.

Neither finishing an entire bottle of scotch on his own, nor the fact he was laying his only friend to rest today had anything to do with the way he felt, though; at least not as far as he was concerned.

_Ch-ch-chan –_

He slipped his hand out from under the covers, reaching over to turn off the alarm, kicked the covers from his legs, and then swung his legs around, sitting up on the edge of the bed. As he stretched and yawned, he knew it was too early to be up and he'd be paying for that later, but he also had no choice but to get up and face the day.

"Come back to bed," a sleepy, yet seductive voice purred, as a slender and dainty, tattooed arm reached out and wrapped around his waist.

Ginger.

He'd almost forgotten about his head waitress, whom he'd finally yielded to last night. She'd been on his nuts, trying to fuck him, since they'd first met and she was about as hot as they came – all tatted up, and as he'd just discovered, pierced too - but he didn't make a habit out of fucking employees.

That is until last night.

Pam was so going to kill him.

But wait.

She couldn't, now, could she.

He didn't remember much after the bar closed. He'd spent the majority of the night in his office, kept company by Excel spreadsheets and the obscenely expensive bottle of scotch Pam, his late business partner and dearest friend, had given him for his last birthday. Once the bar closed and he'd thought sure he was alone, he'd made his way out to the bar, only to be interrupted and very surprised by Ginger and as they say, the rest was history.

History he'd rather forget.

He never should have fucked her in the first place, but he'd been in a bad way with everything that had happened and between haste and inebriation, he'd made a really bad decision. He also realized his failure to send her home directly afterward, had been just as bad. He needed to take a page from the book of the guys on "Jersey Shore," he thought. He should have called a cab a few hours ago before either of them had fallen asleep.

He stood up and strode to his bathroom, ignoring Ginger completely, aside from tossing her arm away as he stood, in hopes she'd take the hint.

She did.

When he emerged from the bathroom, showered and shaved, she was gone and he was very, very glad. He preferred to live his life in solitude and needed that this morning more than anything.

*s*S*s*

_Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes_

_Turn and face the strange_

_Ch –ch- changes_

_Just gonna have - _

"Fuck me," Sookie mumbled as her hand flew over and slammed down onto the clock so hard it flew off the side of the nightstand, landing between it and the bed. Her eyes never even opened, she didn't feel rested, nor did she want to get up. In fact, she felt like shit, so it was no surprise when she rolled right back over; almost immediately falling right back to sleep.

Until over an hour later.

"Wake up, Bitch! We got places to be!" Lafayette called out as he ripped the covers off her body. He couldn't help laughing over the fact she was wearing only paint splatters and one sock.

He'd truly seen it all, now.

She didn't budge.

"Sookie, wake up!" he all but shouted. "We're gonna be late!"

Still nothing.

He'd noticed the pill bottle on the nightstand by the bed and initially, hadn't thought anything of it. Although she partook socially, it wasn't like her to overdo it on anything other than alcohol – which she'd definitely done last night - but now he was seriously debating if he should be concerned.

"Sookie … Sookie," he shouted, nudging her far from gently. "Get up, girl. I don't need this shit today!"

The nudging and shouting did it. After a moment, she roused slightly; her eyes opening, just barely. "Don't wanna," she mumbled.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "You have to," he informed her matter-of-factly, waving his finger at her. He picked up the bottle of pills from her nightstand and shook it. "How many of these did you take?"

They hadn't been prescribed to her, but he'd figured that much already. Claude Crane, the name on the label read. Figures, he thought. Claude had been over when he'd left the night before and he had prescriptions for everything and was always more than willing to share. Ironically, he didn't really even need any of it.

"I don't know," she slurred, still not quite all there. "Two … maybe three." She wiped at her eyes and yawned then very slowly, attempted to sit up.

"No wonder you're a fucking zombie right now," he mumbled under his breath, shaking his head, as he sat the pill bottle back down on the nightstand then took a seat on the bed beside her. "Look, you gotta get moving. We got a funeral to go to and if we're late Pammie'll haunt our asses."

Sookie just sat there, slumped against her headboard, wearing her sock, completely immodest and way too fucked up to care. "I can't go like this," she managed.

"No shit, baby girl. Not with those big ole fun bags hanging out." Lafayette chuckled. "They may be spectacular, but that don't mean I wanna look at'em all day, so let's get you up and dressed." He nodded.

Lafayette's point was valid, but that wasn't what Sookie had meant. She was aware she needed to put clothes on, but she'd actually been talking about the fact she was about to fall over and she felt like she wanted to puke. There was no way she'd make it into the shower, much less take one. "I don't think I can." She couldn't even hold her head up. In fact, as she spoke, she'd tried to shake it, but that didn't even work right.

"Sure you can," he encouraged, nodding. "I got a little treat for us." He pulled out a tiny, powder-filled zip lock baggie from his pants pocket and shook it in the air, smiling wide. "I figured we'd need us a little somethin'-somethin' today." He winked. "Guess I was right."


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, I had no intention of posting this until tomorrow, but I got excited ... so here we are ...  
**

**I'm not sure if I'll continue to post on Monday's from now on, or if I'll stick with Tuesday's in the future. I guess I'll figure that out when the time comes! LOL!  
**

**Also, I'm undecided ... I may post a teaser of Chapter 3 tonight, or I may wait until tomorrow.  
**

**Before I go any further, just a reminder that I own nothing. SVM is Charlaine Harris' and the song _Changes_ belongs to David Bowie.**

**Anyway, here's chapter 2 ... hope you enjoy it!  
**

* * *

The service had been lovely, but Sookie hated funerals so she was more than glad to see it was over. People were finally starting to trickle out of the gates. She'd excused herself a few moments early, not feeling well; pretty sure it was a mix of her massive hangover, the cocaine - or rather its effects wearing off - and the hot, summer sun; not to mention all the emotion that came with losing a good friend.

God, she missed Pam. She'd just buried her and was about to meet with her lawyer about her will, yet she still found it so incredibly hard to believe her best friend was really gone.

She wished she could just go home and go back to bed, but she still had one more item of business she needed to take care of today, so instead of leaving, she sat on the curb at the front gate of the cemetery, sweating in the sweltering heat, as she waited for Lafayette, who hadn't made it out yet.

She wished he'd hurry. His pick-me-up had really run its course and she needed a little more if she was going to make it through her meeting.

She'd received the certified letter from Desmond Cataliades yesterday and hadn't been surprised at all. Shortly after adopting their daughter Hannah, Pam, and her life-partner Indira, had made no secret they were planning for their futures. That had included drafting wills; although Sookie was pretty sure neither of them expected they'd need them so soon.

Sookie, sure as hell, hadn't thought they would.

It had only been a few short weeks ago when Pam had last mentioned it to Sookie.

They'd been at their favorite sushi joint, sharing a plate of fresh salmon, as they sipped on warm apple sake, when Pam had brought up her will.

"_I'm leaving you all your paintings," Pam informed her, matter-of-factly, as she reached with her chopsticks for another piece of salmon. "You painted them and I see you in each one of them, so I just feel like they should go back to you." Over the years, since they'd met, she'd amassed quite a collection of original Sookie Stackhouse works. She'd purchased several and been gifted a few as well. "Well, except for the one you painted for Hannah. I think I'd like her to have that one."_

_Sookie agreed; at least about the one she'd painted Hannah. She wasn't so sure about the rest. Sure, she'd painted them, but that didn't mean Pam had to give them back. It was just weird. She shrugged it off, figuring it was all the death talk. To her it was slightly morbid and not something someone as young as Pam should be thinking about; at least not yet. _

Now, she understood it all too well, though. Pam had been right to plan because even though you never think it's gonna happen to you or the ones you love, people died young every single day.

It was certainly a huge and ugly lesson learned for such a free-spirited soul, and she really wished neither Pam, nor Indira, would have been the ones who'd imparted it to her.

*s*S*s*

Eric patiently waited in the conference room at the law firm of Desmond Cataliades. He'd rushed over from the funeral, only to find the lawyer to be running late. He still felt like shit and the sunny, hot and muggy, June weather he'd had to suffer through at the funeral - in a dark suit and tie, no less - hadn't helped. He'd removed his jacket and tie, leaving them in his car, and rolled up his sleeves, so he was much cooler; especially inside the air conditioned office, but still felt as if he could puke.

Water. He needed water.

He stood to go find some and was surprised to almost collide with Pam's younger sister, Ashley, as she walked in, carrying Hannah. He was pretty sure the meeting was about Pam's share of the club and just hadn't expected anyone else to be there; although he supposed it made sense, since she'd intended to, more or less, leave her half to Hannah.

They'd talked about it a couple months before, shortly after Hannah had been born. Pam had explained she and Indira had begun sorting out their affairs, since they now had a family to think about.

He really hadn't taken her seriously at the time – she was only thirty – but he understood the importance of her planning and appreciated she'd considered him in it. She easily could have screwed him in the deal, but she'd planned it in such a way that it was more than fair for everyone involved.

The arrangement was simple. The club would remain under Eric's complete control until Hannah came of age, at which time she'd have the option of becoming a partner or selling her half. If she chose to sell, Eric got first dibs. If he chose to sell in the meantime, half the profit from the sale would be set up in a trust for her.

"Oh … Hey, Ash," he said. Her arms were full between the baby, the baby's bag, and her own. He reached toward her. "Here, let me help you."

"I've got it, Eric. But thanks, though." She smiled then amended herself. "But if you wouldn't mind helping me pull out a chair?"

Eric pulled out the chair beside his own and Ashley placed Hannah's carrier on it. After dropping their bags beside it, she then pulled out a chair for herself, plopping down into it as if she was exhausted.

"I was just gonna go find some water. You need anything?" he asked before resuming his course out of the room.

"No thanks, Eric." She leaned over, dug into Hannah's diaper bag and pulled out a bottle of Fiji for herself, and a bottle of formula for Hannah, showing him she was good to go.

He couldn't help notice how tired and stressed she looked; not that he wouldn't have expected as much. He felt, and probably looked, about the same way.

Losing his good friend and business partner so suddenly hadn't been easy for him; not by a long shot, but for Ashley, he knew it had to have been so much worse. Not only had she lost her sister, she'd lost the only family she had left and on top of it, now, she'd have to become a parent to Hannah.

There was no telling how much more she'd lose before it was all said and done. He'd seen it firsthand when Pam and Ashley's parents died and Pam, at nineteen, had to take in her nine year old baby sister. They'd actually lived with Eric for a bit during that time and he'd seen what all Pam had had to give up.

It was going to be a long, hard road for Ashley and he couldn't even fathom what it'd be like. She had to be worried and terrified. She was only twenty and about to start her third year at Tulane. She was supposed to be going to parties and interviewing for internships, not being a mom.

Hell, he was worried and terrified for her, seeing as how he was a twenty-nine year old man who was financially secure and owned his own business, and despite that, still nowhere close to being ready to settle down and have kids.

He knew Pam had probably set her up financially speaking. Pam was a saver, a skilled investor, and a very hard-worker, and he knew she'd amassed quite a bit over the years, so Ashley'd at least have no worries in that arena, but he was sure there was a lot more that went into raising a child than cold hard cash and he hoped for Ashley, at the very least, none of it got in the way of her finishing her degree.

Lord only knew, Pam had worked a lot of long and hard hours to make sure she would be successful enough to afford her sister an education; all while attempting to get one herself, and it had been a struggle. He'd tried to offer help to her then, but she'd stubbornly refused, wanting to do it all herself. He thought it would be a shame to see all of Pam's hard work go to waste and her sister get trapped in the same situation she had.

He found a soda machine down the hall, settled for a Sprite, and promptly headed back to the conference room, since the meeting was already running late. He didn't want to be the reason for anymore holdups.

When he arrived back he stopped in the doorway, surprised to find yet another person had joined the meeting. A blonde woman was sitting in the chair beside Ashley and it looked like they were having a moment he shouldn't interrupt, so instead of continuing inside, he stepped to the side and waited by the door.

He couldn't help but listen in. He had to know when it was safe to return, didn't he?

"I'm here." Ashley said; her voice a bit shaky. "I can at least say that much." She was starting to cry. "I miss her, Sookie."

Sookie.

He'd heard of her, but was pretty sure he'd never actually met her; although Pam had talked about her a lot. From what he'd heard, he didn't have a very high opinion of her; not that he had a high opinion of anyone, really, given his general dislike of people. He'd thought she sounded like an irresponsible brat who got wasted all the time - not that he didn't drink too much himself - but all the Sookie stories entailed way more than just booze, usually.

Aside from that, he knew she was an artist. Pam had several of her paintings, none of which were his taste in art. He never could figure out what Pam saw in the artsy crowd she hung out with. Pam always said they were bright and creative souls, albeit a little eccentric, but to him, they were just plain weird. But he guessed he was about to find out what she saw in them, now, seeing as he was about to meet Sookie Stackhouse face to face.

It was far from a pleasure.

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**Oops! I almost forgot ... Thanks to Northwoman, my wonderful beta!** **She's betaing chapters left and right and she's giving me no excuse to not get these out to y'all weekly!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Well, here's chapter 3 and I believe all your questions will be answered here ... well, most of them.**

**Oh ... and I've decided Mondays will be the day for posting on this one, but I'm gonna wait until Tuesdays for the teaser.  
**

**Before we get to it, I'd like to thank Northwoman for being a fabulous beta and everyone who's been reading and reviewing. All of you are what keeps me writing!  
**

**Also, only Hannah and Ashley are mine. Everything else SVM related belongs to Charlaine Harris and the song Changes belongs to David Bowie.  
**

**Hope you all enjoy!  
**

* * *

Sookie had gotten to Mr. Cataliades' office late and was glad to find he was running later than she. As she rushed into the conference room, she'd been surprised to see Ashley, feeding Hannah a bottle; seated at the large table inside. She'd assumed she'd be the only one there.

When she'd walked in, Ashley had spoken up first, asking Sookie if she was okay, citing she'd seen her leaving the funeral early. She wasn't okay – nowhere close - but she knew it had to be worse for Ashley. She also knew she should have been the one asking that question, so instead of answering, she did just that, turning the question around on Ashley.

"Oh, Ashley, I should be the one asking you that, girl." She sniffed and rubbed at her nose as she took the seat beside Pam's sister at the table.

Sookie couldn't even begin to imagine what Ashley was going through. She knew what she, herself, was going through, but didn't think it was anywhere near what Ashley was experiencing. She still had her brother, although they didn't speak much, so she didn't know that kind of loss. She'd only lost a friend and she had others - not that any of them could ever fill the huge, gaping hole Pam had left in her heart - but Ashley; she had lost her big sister – her family – and she didn't have anyone left.

"I'm here." Ashley answered; sounding optimistic, yet barely held together. "I can at least say that much." Her eyes filled with tears. "I miss her, Sookie."

Sookie squeezed her eyes shut, attempting to hold back her own tears, as she leaned in and pulled the teary-eyed girl into her embrace; baby and all. "I do, too, Ash … I do too. I still can't believe it. I keep expecting her to call or show up at my door."

"I know," Ashley squeaked, quietly; her forehead resting on Sookie's shoulder.

The two women's moment was interrupted by short, round man entering the room from a door on the far end. "I apologize for my tardiness," he announced as he strode through the door; briefcase in hand. "Where's Mr. Northman?" He asked, quickly scanning the room.

Mr. Northman? Sookie was pretty sure he was Pam's business partner, she thought as she and Ashley each sat back in their chairs; both wiping away at tears on their cheeks. She'd never met him; although Pam had tried to get him join their group on outings several times. He'd always turned the offers down, and Sookie was sort of glad because although Pam really seemed to think highly of him, she didn't. She'd heard enough from her about him to form an opinion and it wasn't good. To Sookie, Eric was nothing more than an arrogant, womanizing asshole.

"I'm right here," Eric said as he stepped into the room and made his way back to his chair.

Whoa! No wonder Pam liked him. He was absolutely beautiful, exquisite really, with his perfectly proportioned body, chiseled features, and long blonde hair; she assumed fell down to about his shoulders - it was pulled back in a ponytail at the nape of his neck, so she really couldn't tell – but none of his features were nearly as compelling to her as his eyes. They were a beautiful cerulean blue which reminded her of her favorite color paint. The eyes, she thought, were the windows to the soul and his, she noticed, were filled with complexity.

She wanted to paint them. Hell, she wanted to paint him. Naked. Bad attitude and all. She bet under his clothes his body wasn't just perfectly proportioned. She bet it was perfectly toned too like a Renaissance statue.

The short, round man, whom Sookie assumed was Desmond Cataliades, reached the head of the table, sat his briefcase down in front of him, and opened it. "Good, then let's get started. You may be wondering why you're here?"

He'd pretty much nailed that one. Sookie had thought it was about her paintings, but she wasn't so sure anymore with all the extra people present.

Mr. Cataliades reached into his open briefcase and pulled out two envelopes, handing one to Sookie and the other to Eric.

Sookie was really wondering what the hell was going on now. She'd noticed immediately the handwriting on the front of the envelope he'd handed her was Pam's. She wanted to open it and see what it was; see what her dear friend had written to her, but at the same time, she was afraid. She was afraid it would be too much. She was barely holding it together as it was. Besides, Mr. Cataliades hadn't instructed them to open them, so she wasn't sure she was supposed to. Slightly dumbfounded by it all, all she could do was stare down at her name on the front.

"Ms. Ravenscroft specifically asked that you be given these letters in the event of both her and her partner's death and that you read them together. You can go ahead and open them," Mr. Cataliades finally said.

Sookie, still staring down at where her best friend had written her name, opened hers first. She pulled it out, unfolded it, and started reading.

_Sookie, _

_Fuck Girl! How do I even do this? You see things like this on TV and they always start out all ominous and dramatic. All like – if you're reading this I fear the worst has happened, and shit; and that just isn't me._

_Damn._

_Anyway, if you're reading this, Sookie, then I guess the worst has happened, but who am I to question what's good and bad? Maybe it isn't the worst. Maybe the afterlife's way better than New Orleans? Maybe you don't have to show your tits for beads where I am now? I bet I'm right, but that's beside the point._

_The point is, Sookie, that you are my best friend and I want what's best for you. That's precisely why I've made the decision I've made. I know you'll think I'm nuts, but I swear to you, Sookie, I'm not. I know my decision is best for everyone. _

_I've known you for eight years and in that time you've taught me to laugh, to be free, and to just have a damn good time and that's why I love you so, but Sookie, you have to grow up. You can't keep going on like you do. You need something stable in your life – something to keep you grounded. That is why Indira and I want you to be Hannah's guardian. _

_I know you probably think we're crazy. You've always told me you had no intention of having kids, but Sookie, it's been the most fulfilling thing I've ever done and it's only just begun and I know if you gave it a chance you would be a great mom to my little girl and Indira knows that, too. _

_I also know you probably thought I'd leave this task to Ash; but Sookie, I love her too much and she is __not __ready. You are. I know you are. You just need that extra little push in order to realize it. _

_I've discussed my decision with her and you'll have her full support. That includes babysitting duty._

_Also, know I haven't placed this undertaking upon you alone. I've also named Eric as Hannah's guardian. My hopes are that the two of you will raise her, love her, and give her the life Indira and I had hoped to give her ourselves. _

_You can do this, Sookie. You and Eric __can__ do this. Please don't forget that, and don't let him forget it either. I would never have put you in this position if I didn't know in my heart, mind, and soul that it was the best decision for you, Eric, and my little girl._

_I love you, Sookie and know that wherever you are, I'm with you. _

_Love Always,_

_Pamela Ravenscroft._

_P.S. I know Eric can be an asshole. Just bear with him. Promise me that. I swear, if you do, you'll find there is so much more to him than he lets on. He truly is one of the best men I'd ever met and I'd never admit it to him, but if I actually liked men enough to be with one seriously, I'd choose him in a minute and you know how picky I am._

Sookie was totally and completely stunned by what she'd just read. Pam was right. She thought her and Indira were nuts. She didn't want kids – never had - and she liked to party, sleep in, come and go as she pleased. The list went on and on. Fuck! This would never work, but she knew it was something she had to do. It wasn't like she could shirk off her best friend's last wishes even if she thought they were insane.

*s*S*s*

When Mr. Cataliades had said to open the letters, Eric hadn't wanted to open his. He'd done so well keeping his mask on since the accident; never really showing any real emotion over what had happened on the outside. The problem was somewhere buried deep on the inside he knew there was boatload of pain and sadness just aching to get out and he feared when he opened the letter it would burst.

As Sookie opened hers and began to read, he felt he had no choice but to follow suit. He needed to put his big boy britches on and face his fear. He slowly slipped it out of the envelope dreading his reaction to his only friend's words with every inch of paper he freed. Once out, he unfolded it and reluctantly, he began to read.

_Eric,_

_These get easier to write as you go along and it's really sort of empowering. Who'da thunk it? The first few letters I wrote were a real struggle, but now, it's cake and I've realized I can tell people exactly what I think in them with no consequences!_

_So, let's get to it. I know you were never a fan of beating around the bush. That's one of the reasons I like you so much. Lord only knows it's __not __because you're a womanizing asshole. _

_Yeah … I said it. What are you gonna do … kill me? You can't because if you're reading this, I'm already dead. _

_Ha! (See what I mean)_

_Anyway, that's one thing I never got about you, Eric. You're a great guy – caring and respectful (when you wanna be), hardworking, dedicated, confident, sexy, and I know firsthand you know exactly what you're doing in bed. Yeah, I bet that's surprising coming from me - probably the last thing you expected to hear, but it's the truth. You once gave me the best O any man has ever given me. But don't let that go to your head, Mister. I've had tons of better ones from women! _

_But Fuck Eric! You're like the perfect guy! But you refuse to acknowledge that fact and it's totally infuriating to me. _

_I've watched you since college as you've pushed everyone you've ever met away by being an arrogant prick and simply refusing to open up. You say you like your solitude, but then you turn around and brood to me about how lonely you are and how you have no one. _

_For twelve years, I've put up with your shit, Eric. I know you have trust issues, but you really need to get over them; because Eric, you deserve to be happy and you're never gonna find happiness in a bottle or in a random pussy._

_That is precisely the reason Indira and I want you to take in our Hannah. _

_You know me well enough to know how seriously I think things through when it comes to the club and I also know you know the only thing more important to me than our club is her, so I know you know I haven't made this decision lightly. _

_Ash is not ready for such a challenge and I love her too much to make her grow up too fast the way I had to when Mommy and Daddy died and I know you, of all people, will understand that. You were with me through it all. She knows the decision I've made and she's only a phone call away. She assured me she was more than willing to help you in any way you may need. You can call her any time – day or night._

_I know you probably want to kill me right now (Ha! You can't!), but you'll see, Eric. You'll see that this will be something good for you. I wouldn't have entrusted you with this if I didn't know that you'd be the __best__ father my little girl could ever have._

_I want you and my dear friend, Sookie (I've also named her as guardian, so know you aren't in this alone) to give my Hannah the life she deserves – a life with parents that love her and cherish her more than anything. _

_I know you're capable of that, Eric. There's love in you. I know there is. You've shared it with me and I know you are capable of sharing it with someone else. You just have a wall up and you have to allow it to completely crumble away and fall down. _

_Let Sookie in, Eric – she __needs__ you - and let in my little girl. I promise you, they will both teach you so many valuable lessons that you'll never learn without them. Believe me. I speak from firsthand experience._

_I love you, Eric, and I hope you take everything I've written here to heart and I also hope you know I'm with you always. _

_Much Love,_

_Pamela Ravenscroft_

Luckily, the letter didn't have the effect he'd feared it would, but it had flummoxed him. He had no clue what Pam was thinking and couldn't help wondering if she and Indira had made this decision one wild night while doing Ecstasy with Sookie Stackhouse.

How in the hell could she entrust her child to him; or Sookie, who was so obviously on something? She had to be the way she kept fidgeting, sniffing, and wiping at her nose and if she couldn't even come to this meeting without being fucked up, how was she supposed to raise a kid?

And what about him? He was no better.

Although he didn't agree with everything she'd written, Pam's letter had hit pretty close to home. A lot of what she'd written, for the most part, had been true. He did treat people like shit; usually for the sole purpose of getting them to go away, and he did feel lonely; especially now that he no longer had her.

His life was nothing but work, sleep, and empty, drunken sex with random women. It was a vicious circle he'd never been able to find an end to and without Pam, he didn't know if he ever would. He was hopeless and he was sure Pam was wrong about one thing - someone like him should never raise a child, but she'd asked him to and he'd do it because it was what she wanted and she was the only person that had ever mattered to him.

* * *

**Well, there y'all go! Hope you liked it! Tell me what ya thought and go get writing on your entries for the contest! We're accepting submissions until July 15th! You can get the information for the contest by visiting www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2491610/I_Write_The_Songs.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Alright, I shouldn't post this early because I wanna make sure my writing never lags behind and this just took about a half a week of buffer away from me, but everyone's been so great. I've gotten a fairly good bit of reviews (but I'll always take more) and there's been a lot of adds to alerts and faves and a lot of hits to this story, so here's chapter 4 as a THANKS to everyone that's reading!  
**

**This probably won't happen again ... no more early postings! LOL! So don't expect it!  
**

**Also, while I'm at it, a big, huge THANKS to Northwoman for betaing this and all my other stories for me. She's been with me for a while now and I totally appreciate her! Even during my long dry periods, she's stuck with me!  
**

**SVM is Charlaine Harris' and the song Changes, for which this story is loosely based, is David Bowies.  
**

**So ... all that said, here's chapter 4 ...  
**

**Part 2: Changes are Afoot**

For both Eric and Sookie, changes were coming; a fact they'd both been aware of, for more than two weeks.

In that time, Hannah had remained with Ashley in order to give them time to arrange custody and prepare, but now that an agreement was in place and Ashley's summer term at school was about to start, the time for preparation was over.

For both of them, things were about to get really real.

*s*S*s*

Although Eric realized things were going to be different for him soon, he'd continued to live his life the way he always had; sleep, gym, work, booze, and women; not changing a single thing.

Old habits, he found, were very hard to break.

He'd thought it over and over and over in his head since that day in Mr. Cataliades office and he was still no closer to understanding why Pam and Indira had made the decision they had. The way he saw it, they couldn't have picked two more inept people to raise their child.

He didn't know who was worse, him or Sookie.

He and Sookie had chatted several times and met twice, after both getting the shock of their lives, and he still wasn't impressed; although he was happy to see she didn't show up high to their second meeting, as she'd been the day of the funeral at their first. She had showed up late, though, and that didn't earn her any points as far as he'd been concerned.

Aside from her tardiness, he'd also found her to be horrible at returning phone calls and extremely indecisive; not to mention the fact she seemed to live her life by the seat of her pants and he couldn't comprehend how anyone could possibly live their life that way.

He was a very organized and a borderline excessive scheduler, and she was far from it, having no set schedule, and apparently, no organizational skills, at all. She hadn't even brought a calendar with her when they'd met to set up a custody schedule and when he'd asked her about when she usually worked; she'd had no answer for him; at least not one he understood.

"Whenever I feel it," she'd said.

What the hell did that even mean? He'd thought, feeling as if he could strangle her right in the middle of Starbucks. Most of her answers had been vague at best and it had made figuring out a custody schedule way harder than it should have been.

"Then when can you take Hannah?" he'd asked through gritted teeth.

"Whenever," she'd answered.

Hannah was doomed, he'd thought. That's all there was to it. He'd thought it many times since that day, but he didn't have a lot of time to dwell on it anymore, seeing as how she'd be at his house any minute and he, who prided himself in his organization and preparedness, was far from prepared. He was realizing he'd apparently failed to make good use of his time allotted. He had gone out this morning and bought some furniture, a car seat, some diapers, a few bottles, and some formula, though, but that was all he'd done. Honestly, he wasn't really sure what all a baby needed or what she'd come with, but he hoped he had enough to get started.

He was arranging it all in his guest room when his doorbell rang. Hannah had arrived.

*s*S*s*

Eric had made it through his first few hours of fatherhood and had actually found he was enjoying himself as he and Hannah hung out on his living room floor. If this was what being a dad was like, he could handle it, he thought. She rolled around on a blanket beside him, cooing, grunting, and groaning, while he'd split his attention between watching her and watching TV.

Feeding her had been simple, but burping her and changing her had been a little daunting, since his hands were almost as big as she was; never-the-less, he'd managed. She hadn't even really cried. She'd gotten a little fussy when she'd made a poopy diaper and whined a little at one point when she'd just woke up, but that was it. It had been no big deal.

"You know what, Hannah?" he said to her; his voice as gentle and sweet as he could make it. "You aren't half bad. I wish all women were as sweet as you." He tickled her tummy with his fingertips to which she giggled at him and smiled, grabbing ahold of his right index finger and refusing to let it go.

She was just so tiny and so adorably cute; especially when she giggled at him, smiling her big, toothless smile. It melted his icy, cold heart.

He was falling in love.

There was just something about the baby girl that made him feel all giddy inside and he liked that feeling. It made him think back to Pam's letter and he wondered if that was what she'd been referring to when she'd mentioned him finding happiness.

He thought it just might be.

He actually found himself smiling for the first time in several weeks, but his smile was short lived because with no warning, what-so-ever, Hannah finally started crying and this time it was for real. No matter what he tried, he couldn't find a way to her stop, so what did he do?

He panicked.

*s*S*s*

The sound of bongos filled Sookie's loft; radiating from the speakers she had placed all throughout the room. She was in her zone, dancing around to the beat of the drums, while she slung, dabbed, rubbed, and smeared paint on the large canvas, standing on an easel in front of her, willy-nilly.

Having had a sudden burst of inspiration, she'd painted all afternoon and into the evening, but she wasn't really keeping track of the time. It was the first creative spurt she'd had in weeks and she was glad because she had a couple commissions she needed to complete soon and hadn't had any luck getting them started. Everything she'd attempted to paint since Pam and Indira's car accident had been shit, until now.

She'd just had so much on her mind. Everything was changing and it was all happening so fast and it was all beyond her control. Why did Pam have to die? Why had she just sprung parenthood, of all things, on her? She knew she wasn't fit to keep a plant, much less a kid and she thought Pam could have at least warned her; told her ahead of time before it was made legally binding. But she realized it wouldn't have made a bit of a difference even if Pam had revealed her intentions. She'd still be exactly where she was now.

She'd just felt so extremely lost the past few weeks. She still felt lost, actually, but at least she was able to paint again.

Thinking her painting might be finished, she stepped back, eyeing it carefully, and decided it needed a little more green. Just as she'd got back to work, her phone rang. She sat her brush back down and picked up her phone which sat on the table she had positioned by her easel. She recognized the number flashing on the tiny screen was Eric's.

She'd been glad when he'd stepped up and offered to take Hannah first. She was in no way ready for that yet. In all honesty, she wasn't sure if she'd ever be, but despite her reluctance, she'd signed on the dotted line and in one week, she'd be the mom of a four month old baby for the first time.

"Hello," she answered; a bit surprised he was calling.

Their last meeting, although fruitful ,they'd come up with a tentative custody agreement, hadn't gone as well as it could have not that their first had either. He'd been very short with her and she could tell he was frustrated with her throughout it, but was completely unaware of why when she'd been nothing but nice and accommodating. She'd even agreed to keep Hannah for him on Tuesday and Thursday nights assuming she didn't have plans on his weeks, so he wouldn't have to deal with finding a babysitter while he worked.

Despite having given him the benefit of the doubt after reading Pam's letter, her mind hadn't changed about him. She still thought he was an arrogant and self-righteous asshole.

Only now, he didn't sound like any of those things.

"Sookie," he said, sounding almost desperate. She heard crying, or rather wailing, in the background. "I hope I'm not bothering you, but I knew Ash had plans and I didn't know who else to call."

"It's okay," she assured; a little concerned and still surprised. This wasn't the Eric she knew; at least not the one she knew so far. Maybe there was more to him. "Is that Hannah? What's wrong?"

"I don't know and I … I don't know what to do. She won't stop crying and I've tried everything I can come up with." He sighed. "I tried to feed her, I changed her, I tried a pacifier, and I picked her up. I even made funny faces at her … I'm running out of ideas," he said; his voice panicky. "I … I think I need help."

The thought of Eric making funny faces at her was hysterical, but she didn't have time to laugh about it or goad him. He sounded like he was about to freak out and start crying himself.

"Do … do you need me to come over?" she reluctantly asked.

She hoped he said no. She didn't like him, didn't want to spend her Sunday evening with him, and she really wanted to keep painting. Besides, she doubted he'd do the same for her if the situation was reversed.

"Would you?" he begged, sounding slightly relieved.

How could she say no to that? He'd gone and guilted her and now, she felt unable to refuse; a part of her knowing that could be her in a week, but also a part of her endeared by Eric's surprising behavior. Honestly, she couldn't believe he was asking, no, begging for help.

"I'll be there as soon as I can."

Twenty minutes later, Sookie was at his door. She could hear Hannah screaming on the other side and she realized she was about to get a taste of what her life was about to become and it scared the living shit out of her.

Why had she offered to come here? she wondered.

The door opened and Eric stood there in a T-shirt and cargo shorts; his feet were bare, his hair hung loose, and he had light stubble on his face. He held Hannah tightly against his chest, patting her back with the hand, she assumed, he'd used to open the door. The other times she'd seen him he'd been dressed up and very well-manicured and had definitely looked great, but this casual attire and less kept look suited him well, she thought briefly, but the main focus of her attention was on Hannah, who was definitely not happy at the moment.

What had she gotten herself into?

* * *

**Okay, for some reason this site isn't allowing me to use dashes ... sorry if punctuation is a little off or something doesn't make sense ... I tried to fix it best I could (by using commas and semicolons instead ... and I hope it didn't do that on the previous chapter ... I didn't notice if it did!**

**Also, get your entries written and submitted for the I Write The Songs contest!**

**And ... Later today, I'll give you a teaser of Chapter 5 over on my blog!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow! I believe I'm being spread too thin ... at least for the next couple days! I almost forgot to post this! LOL!  
**

**Before I get to the story, as always I gotta say thanks to Northwoman for betaing for me and thanks to all of you who continue to read my stuff! I think there's a few new ones out there too, so much thanks!  
**

**SVM belongs to Charlaine Harris and _Changes_ belongs to David Bowie.  
**

**Oh ... and we've gotten some great entries for the I Write the Songs contest ... y'all need to keep them coming! And watch for judged entries to start being posted soon ...  
**

**Now ... onto chapter 5 ...**

Gas had been the culprit. That had become apparent, shortly after Sookie had arrived to help him.

One minute, Eric was frantically searching the internet on his laptop for any useful information he could find, while Sookie repeated everything he'd already tried, plus tried anything he happened to call out to her, in an attempt to figure out what was wrong with the baby and fix it, then the next minute, Hannah farted. Just like that, she stopped crying.

All was well and the crisis had been averted.

Almost an hour later, Eric sat on the arm of his couch to the right of Sookie. "I think she's okay, now," Eric said as he leaned down and reached over to tickle Hannah's belly. Sookie cradled the baby girl in her arms, and she was smiling and giggling, and being a happy baby again. "I hate I called you over here for that." He shrugged, pulling back his hand.

Translation: He hated he'd embarrassed himself by showing someone he didn't even like his vulnerability.

Plus, he wasn't really one to ever ask for help in the first place. He felt like a bit like a failure and it hurt because he and Hannah had had such a great afternoon and evening together.

"It's okay," Sookie assured him, nodding. "I'd have probably done the same thing," she admitted, smiling up at him. It had been a good attempt, but it hadn't made him feel any better. "I'm just glad she's okay." Her eyes shifted down at the baby she held in her arms. She giggled then shifted her eyes back up to him. Still smiling, she pointed out, "Ya know, she's really freaking cute when she's not wailing like a banshee."

He chuckled. She had that right. He was still in love, despite their little setback. It had only taken one smile from Hannah to make him realize that. "It's been less than a day and I think I've fallen in love with her."

Suddenly, he realized, he needed Sookie to go. He was getting way too comfortable around her for his own good and that wasn't something he could or wanted to deal with.

His opinion of her still hadn't changed, since their two previous meetings, but he couldn't help but think it was definitely starting to, after tonight. She'd been so incredibly easy to be around, and despite the fact half of the time they'd spent together, so far, had been under stress and duress due to the baby's crying, he'd actually enjoyed it.

He'd enjoyed how it felt to know Sookie was willing to help him. Nobody but Pam had ever been willing to help him with anything – ever; not that he'd ever asked, but that was beside the point. He'd also enjoyed the way watching her with Hannah had made him smile. She'd made it clear to him she was nervous and unsure of what to do, but as it turned out, she'd had no reason to be because from what he could see she was a natural.

He met her gaze. "Sookie," he said.

She looked up at him, smiling again.

Why did she have to smile at him like that?

He knew he should ask her to leave, as he'd intended, but her smile bewitched him and the words just wouldn't leave his tongue. Instead, he got lost in her, realizing just how striking she was, for the first time. Her blonde hair, face, and body, he couldn't help but notice, were all undeniably beautiful, only the dark circles under her eyes, the baggy, paint covered clothes she wore, the messy knot on the top of her head, the nose-ring, and the black-framed glasses, did nothing to accentuate any of it.

She wore a pair of overalls and a gray knit tank top, neither of which did anything for her figure, other than hide it and that was a shame, he thought, because he could tell underneath all her clothes, her body was probably bangin'.

"Eric," Sookie said, pulling him back to reality. "You were about to say something?" She was staring at him, questioningly.

Fuck! What was he thinking? He had to stop that train of thought immediately. What she looked like would never matter. It wasn't like he could ever fuck her even if he wanted to – which he didn't. They had to be parents together and that removed her completely from the random fuck category forever. That meant she was definitely not his type.

"Uh … oh … yeah … sorry. I just thought of … of something." He pulled away, shaking his head and ran his fingers through his hair, realizing he'd been way too close to her and he was probably making no sense, but he felt like he'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and albeit miserably, was attempting to play it off.

Sookie laughed. "Oh. I do that all the time. Except usually when it happens to me, it's something really funny and I end up busting out laughing for what seems to be no reason." She shook her head, still laughing. "And it's always someplace completely inappropriate."

He found himself smiling again and before he'd even realized he'd what he was saying, he asked her to stay for dinner.

He blamed it on her smile.

And that's how they'd ended up sitting on his couch; Hannah lying between them, sleeping peacefully, while they watched _True Blood_ and chatted over a spread of Thai food arranged in front of them on his coffee table.

"I would never have pegged you for someone that liked this show," she pointed out before stuffing almost an entire spring roll into her mouth.

He smirked and very matter-of-factly answered, "Good," then, leaning forward, he chuckled and reached for a spring roll to eat, himself. Sitting back, he turned his body in Sookie's direction. "It's my dirty little secret," he joked, waggling his eyebrows, and then he took a bite. "Wouldn't want it getting out; though … so let's just keep it between you and me." He winked.

She giggled and rolled and shook her head, a little pretentiously. "Well, of course. Your secret's safe with me."

About twenty minutes later, the credits started to roll and the spread of food was nearly non-existent; all being left were empty containers and scraps. Sookie was holding Hannah again, feeding her and he was sitting by, idly watching.

"You're really good with her." He'd wanted to tell her that a million times, tonight, but hadn't. Really, a part of him didn't want to acknowledge it completely by saying it out loud, given his initial concerns about her – which were still lingering - but she was making leaps and bounds at proving him wrong and he had no choice but to admit it.

There was a lot more to her than flighty, artsy-fartsy, party girl. She was kind, smart, beautiful, fun, quirky, and so incredibly carefree and just being around her made him feel lighter.

"You are too." She nodded, sitting Hannah's bottle down on the table then readjusting to burp her. "I'm glad you called me. I feel a lot better about all this now." She shrugged. "Granted, I'm not alone in my loft with her yet; her screaming her head off, but tonight's at least giving me hope." She sighed. "Why do you think Pam picked us, of all people?"

He'd been wondering that, himself, and although the answer was right in front of his face – their faces – neither of them could see it, yet.

He shook his head. "I don't know, Sookie. I've thought about it a lot and I just don't know, but I know Pam well enough to know she really believed in her reasons … whatever they were. She'd never have made the decision otherwise."

He missed Pam so much and he wanted to say it, but he couldn't open up to Sookie like that. He'd already slipped big time, just having her there, and his defenses just wouldn't let him open up any further.

"Hey?" he asked then stopped, thinking better.

Maybe he shouldn't ask. Maybe it was none of his business.

Sookie looked up from Hannah to him, urging him to continue. "Huh?"

"Uh … it's none of my business, really … but I was just wondering how you met Pam?" he asked then shook his head and assured her, "You don't have to tell me."

He'd been wondering for a while. All he really knew was he'd heard Sookie's name a lot over the years. He couldn't pinpoint a specific time or story when he'd first heard of her.

"No, it's alright. No big deal." She smiled. "I met Pam at my first gallery opening. I approached her while she was looking at one of my paintings and we got to talking. We realized she knew my friend Lafayette, so she asked me out for a drink." She giggled. "I wasn't twenty-one yet, so we went back to my place. All we had to drink were a couple bottles of Boone's Farm we got on the way." Still giggling, she recalled, "Strawberry Hill and Wild Island."

"I bet y'all felt great the next morning," he commented, shaking his head.

She giggled just a little more, then inquisitively asked, "How'd you meet Pam?" But then Hannah burped and they both started laughing, being taken off guard by such a loud obnoxious noise coming from such a tiny little girl.

As they laughed, it hit him. He was out of his comfort zone again. She just had this strange power over him and because of it; he realized it was really time for her to go.

"Here," he said holding out his arms. "I'll take her." Sookie handed him the baby. "I should probably try to get her down for the night. It's getting late."

She nodded in agreeance, rising to her feet. "At least let me help you pick up this mess?" She motioned with her head toward the coffee table.

Pam's letter flashed into his mind.

_Let Sookie in, Eric …._

A part of him wanted to. A part of him wanted so desperately to let her pick up the mess while he put the baby to bed, and then she could stay. Lord only knew he really liked the way he felt right now with her around, but he knew better. He had walls, as Pam called them, for a reason.

* * *

A teaser of Chapter 6 will be up on my blog tomorrow! If I don't forget! LOL! Let me know what you thought!


	6. Chapter 6

**It's Monday again! That means it's time for Chapter 6 ... **

**As always, thanks to Northwoman, my fabulous beta and host of the I Write the Songs contest! And to all of you, who've been reading this and reviewing!  
**

**SVM belongs to Charlaine Harris and the song _Changes_ belongs to David Bowie ...  
**

**Now, without further ado, here y'all go ... hope you like it ...  
**

The week went by and Sookie hadn't heard from Eric at all. She figured that meant his first week with Hannah had gone pretty well; which gave her hope for her own. Actually, she had gotten a reminder text the day before that he'd be at her place to drop Hannah off at four, but that was it and it sort of surprised her. They'd gotten along really well at his house the previous Sunday. So well, in fact, she was considering asking him to hang out with her and Hannah tonight; assuming he had no plans.

Pam had been right.

There was more to him; of that she had no doubt. He'd barely opened up to her at all and she could tell he was seriously guarded, but he had let her see a few different sides of him she'd never seen – a more vulnerable side, a charming side, a funny side. She'd found herself wanting to learn even more of his many hidden facets; not that it would be easy.

"We'll be out of your hair in a minute. Just let us do this Adderall," Lafayette informed her as their friend Claude crushed up the tiny pink pill on a plate on her counter. "You want some?"

Checking the clock, which hung on her wall over her kitchen counter, she noticed there was still about twenty or thirty minutes until Eric was supposed to be there, so they had a little more time to hang out, plus it was only Adderall and she loved Adderall. It was possibly her drug of choice. It made her happy, gave her energy, and just made her feel good and none of those things would really impair her judgment, but regardless, with responsibility came changes.

She shook her head and shrugged. "Better not."

"Have it your way, then. You nervous?" Claude asked.

She'd had time to become used to the fact she was about to become a parent and the Sunday evening she'd spent with Eric and Hannah had really gone a long way in subduing her fears; not that she wasn't still nervous, but just not like she had been.

"I think it'll be okay … at least I hope so. I just keep telling myself it will … that Pam knew what she was doing."

"Our Pammie was smart, Girlfriend." Lafayette nodded. "And that baby's cute. I think you'll be fine."

Sookie shook her head and rolled her eyes, remembering back to how not cute Hannah had been when she'd been crying uncontrollably the Sunday before, but as it turned out, she didn't have time to worry about it too much or correct Lafayette's assumption because Eric was at her door.

She slid open her door, just as Claude snorted the last of the Adderall and of course Eric saw him do it and was not happy about what he'd walked in on.

The room immediately filled with tension.

He sat Hannah, who was in her carrier, down just inside the door then turned to Sookie. "What the fuck?" he mouthed, quirking his head toward Lafayette and Claude, who'd begun packing up their things at her kitchen counter.

She shrugged, having nothing to say. She'd done nothing wrong.

On his way out, Lafayette hugged her. "We'll see ya, Girl." Then, with his back to Eric, who hadn't said another word and was standing right inside the door, he mouthed, "Sorry," before stepping away and heading out the door.

"Yeah … see ya, Sook," Claude added, following behind Lafayette.

Once the men were gone, Eric grabbed Sookie's arm and drug her across the room, leaving Hannah in her carrier, sitting by the door.

"Eric, stop it," she protested, but he wasn't hurting her, really. It was more like he was simply leading her angrily.

He stopped when they reached the other side of the large loft apartment, by her bed, and about as far away from Hannah as they could get. Turning her to face him, he shoved her lightly, forcing her to fall back onto the bed. She sat there and watched as he paced back and forth in front of her, clinching his fists and mumbling under his breath.

Finally, he ran his fingers through his hair – which he'd left hanging loose - turned to her and muttered through gritted teeth, "And to believe I let myself think you were different. I should have known better." He shook his head. "Are you high? Have you been too high to remember I'd be here at four?" he all but shouted.

She couldn't believe him. Of course she wasn't high.

And it wasn't four, yet.

"It's not four! It's only three forty-eight, Eric," she snarked. "And of course I'm not high!" She sighed, shaking her head. "Do you really think I'm that stupid?"

He gave her a look that almost cut like a knife, and then looked around the loft, deep in thought. Finally he spat, "I don't know, Sookie. I don't know you." He shook his head, and then he said something that did cut her. "Lord only knows, based on what I do know, from Pam, she was nuts to think you could handle raising her daughter."

That did it. She'd had enough and she didn't have to take this. As he's stated, he didn't know her and now, she couldn't believe she'd actually started to think he was anything more than the arrogant asshole she'd initially thought he was.

"Eric, fuck you!" She rose to her feet; her hands at her sides balled into fists. Raising her arm, she pointed her finger at him and poked his chest. "You are not Mr. All High and Mighty here. You're a judgmental asshole and you need to leave!"

God, he needed to leave, she thought. He needed to leave before she started crying.

"Yes," he spat. "I do need to leave and I'm not leaving her here," he seethed, turning and heading back over toward her front door and Hannah.

"You aren't taking her!" she shouted, darting in front of him to cut him off; her arms outstretched.

"Get out of my way, Sookie. I'm taking her," he warned, attempting to push her out of his way.

Their bickering went back and forth until finally, Hannah started to cry. Sookie had somehow managed to fend off Eric, despite the fact he was bigger and stronger, so she reached her first, picking her up and cradling her in her arms.

"Leave, Eric," she insisted, firmly.

*s*S*s*

Leave, she'd told him, and that's exactly what Eric finally did and he hoped he'd made the right decision. He'd pondered it several times, his first few days without Hannah.

He'd also reverted right back to his old habits – sex and booze. Only tonight, three-quarters of the way into a bottle of bourbon, he'd come to the realization neither were the answer to woes.

Pam had been right and fuck, he missed her.

The answer to his woes was the little girl inside the loft he was trying to get into.

"Sookie, let me in," Eric shouted as he pounded on her door.

It was after three in the morning and he was drunk as a skunk and totally on a mission.

"Sookie." He continued pounding on the heavy metal door. "Wake up and let me in, please," he begged. "I need to see Hannah."

He'd been happy the week prior with her – happier than he'd been in a long, long while. He'd finally felt he had a purpose – one beyond his job - and he was finally understanding what it meant to truly love.

The door slid open. "Do you know what time it is, Eric?" Sookie chided, standing there in a robe; her hair a tangled mess and her eyes barely open.

"I need to see Hannah," he insisted, slurring.

"You're drunk! Go home!" She attempted to slide the door closed, but he stopped her, stepping into its path.

"_No_." He wouldn't go. He couldn't. "I _need_ her."

God, he needed her, he thought. It didn't seem to matter how much he'd drank or fucked; none of it made him feel better. Hannah did, though. She smiled at him; even when he was grouchy or having a bad day. She relied on him and made him feel he was worth something. Without her, he'd felt completely lost and he'd felt like he had no one.

"She's sleeping, Eric. Come back tomorrow." Sookie shook her head. "Please, don't wake her," she pleaded. "I just got her back down."

"I won't wake her," he assured Sookie. "Please just let me see her."

* * *

Remember, sometime today or tomorrow there'll be a teaser of Chapter 7 on my blog ... and don't forget to tell me what you thought ...


	7. Chapter 7

**I almost forgot about this again ... but only because my mind's on other things. **

**Luckily, I remembered and maybe your kind reviews will help me get my mind on much less gloomy things.  
**

**Anyway, I really do appreciate each and every one of you who read and review and I appreciate Northwoman, my beta. Thanks to all of you.  
**

**As always, SVM is Charlaine Harris' and _Changes_ belongs to David Bowie.  
**

**Here y'all go ...  
**

Sookie finally relented, letting Eric in, and that's how she'd found herself sitting on her bed, watching Hannah's crib from across the room as Eric leaned against its rail, sobbing.

When he'd first woke her, knocking and shouting, she was pissed off; especially after their last meeting, when he'd dropped Hannah off on Sunday, but when she'd finally opened her door and saw his disheveled state and his desperateness, she couldn't be angry; only concerned.

His pants were expensive, yet wrinkled, his shirt - wrinkled as well - hadn't been buttoned correctly and was untucked, his hair was pulled back, yet most of it was hanging loose and messy, and the stubble on his face hadn't looked as if it were a day old, but instead, several days old.

Aside from his looks, he'd smelled like a bottle of bourbon.

When she'd finally given in to him, letting him inside her loft, she hadn't been sure what would happen. She hadn't even been sure if letting him in was the right thing or the smart thing to do, but at that point, she was very sure it was best she didn't make any more attempts to send him away; not in the state he'd been in.

Now, Eric just stood there, weeping at Hannah's crib; only illuminated by the moonlight shining in from the windows in her large loft.

Breaking down wasn't something she'd realized he was even capable of, until she saw it with her own eyes. Although the more she thought it over, it made perfect sense. People that held so much of themselves back, she'd found, often held the most passion deep inside and passion, she'd found, couldn't stay held in for long. It would always eventually bubble up to the surface and burst through.

She just never expected Eric's to burst through in her loft or in front of her.

She yawned, not knowing what she should do. Never-the-less, she knew she needed to do something. The sun would be up soon and so would Hannah, assuming he didn't wake her first, and she knew neither of them would be worth a damn to the baby then, if they didn't get any sleep.

Quietly, she found herself padding across the large room to other side, which she'd sectioned off as Hannah's; with no clue as to what she'd do once she got there.

"Eric," she whispered once within earshot of him. He remained leaning against Hannah's crib, crying. Once behind him, she reached out and placed her hand on his shoulder. "Eric."

He'd turned around, wiping at his eyes, and it broke her heart. The look of sadness emoting from his teary eyes and the despair radiating out from his aura hit her like a ton of bricks. It made her want to cry for him, herself.

Her hand went to her mouth. "Oh, Eric!" she very quietly exclaimed, hyper-aware of the tiny baby sleeping a few inches away. She reached back out to him, touching his arm. "Come with me." She nodded as her hand slid down his arm until it met his. "Come lie down."

She led him to her bed where she sat down, more or less, pulling him down beside her.

"Eric, I'm here if you want to tell me what's wrong?" she informed him, whispering. He ignored her. It was like he wasn't even there. He just sat there – lifeless – his back against the headboard and legs stretched out in front of him, with a blank, yet pained look on his face.

She was starting to wish Pam left her an Eric instruction manual because she really needed one. Hannah had been easier to figure out, so far.

Unsure of what she could do for him, since he wouldn't talk to her, she eventually took off her glasses and robe, setting them aside, lay back, rolled over, turning away from him, and pulled the covers up over her, figuring she'd at least gotten him away from Hannah's crib, so there was no worry of him waking her any longer.

Just as sleep was about to take her, Eric, sounding sad and lost, pitifully murmured, "I miss Pam."

She rolled over onto her side and tilted her head up a little to face him. "I miss her, too." She looked up at him. He still sat there, staring forward with the same look as before on his face, tears streaming down his cheeks. He brought his hand up and wiped away the tears from under his eyes.

They were huge; his hands, she couldn't help noticing. She bet they were strong and deft, when he was normal Eric, but he was far from that now.

"Without her, I'm alone. I have no one, and it's all my own doing." He shook his head, seeming almost disgusted.

She shook her head the best she could, considering it was still lying on the pillow. "You're wrong, Eric. You aren't alone." He looked down at her. "You can't push everyone away … no matter how hard you try. You'll always have Hannah, and even when she's with me, you can come see her anytime." She nodded, smiling up at him, as she reached out, touching his forearm which was between them resting on the bed. "Just try to call first and try to keep your visits during decent hours," she warned jokingly, attempting to lighten the mood a little.

It didn't work.

Propping herself up on one elbow, she let go of his arm and reached up, cupping his cheek. She almost couldn't believe what she was about to say. "You also have me, Eric."

"You?" He smiled, despondently, though pain still glistened in his eyes.

She wasn't sure if he believed her. Hell, she wasn't sure if she believed herself. The jury was still out, but she was pretty sure she didn't like him. Regardless though, she realized Hannah was theirs now and she tied them together in a way neither of them could ever deny. In spite of their feelings, they had to be there for each other.

She nodded, smiling back at him.

He reached up, removed her hand from his face, and sat it gently down, on the bed between them. "I don't deserve you or Hannah." He shook his head and turned it away from her, facing forward, again. "I'm a horrible person."

He had been horrible to her, but he'd also been kind and she'd seen him be nothing but sweet and loving to Hannah. She knew what he was saying wasn't true; at least not completely. There was a lot more to him than he even gave himself credit for.

"Eric, that doesn't matter. We have Hannah now, and that's not changing. That means we've gotta stick together." She grabbed his hand, taking it into her own. "So you have me."

Sookie waited patiently for him to respond, or do anything for that matter, but he did nothing and didn't respond. He just sat quietly, still facing forward; his hand resting in his lap, still held within hers.

She yawned and was starting to find it difficult to keep her eyes open.

Although Hannah slept through most nights, she didn't sleep through them all and she was always up early, so Sookie hadn't been getting much sleep – not like she'd been used to. She was just so damn tired.

Sleep was just about to take her, when the bed moved and she felt his hand squeeze hers lightly, as his fingers twined with hers. Her eyes flew open to find he was no longer sitting face-forward on her bed, but rather, lying beside her, watching her; his face mere inches from hers. He clung to her hand, holding it against his heart.

"You have me, too, Sookie," he murmured, almost inaudibly.

She smiled as her eyes slowly closed again, all of their own volition; not opening again until morning.

*s*S*s*

The morning sun beamed through the large, industrial, paneled windows, which lined the tops of two walls in Sookie's loft apartment, filling the space with light.

Eric's eyes opened and his first thought was: Why is it so fucking bright? His second thought – which immediately came the moment he noticed the windows – was: Where the hell am I?

He rolled over, feeling and hearing paper crumpling beneath his weight. Under his head, on the pillow, he found a note.

_Eric,_

_Hope you're feeling better this morning. If not, there's aspirin in the bathroom cabinet. _

_Hannah and I went out for breakfast. There's coffee in the kitchen. I assume you drink it. _

_Hannah's really excited to see you! When I told her you were here, she smiled and giggled. It was adorable! I wish you'd have been up to see it! _

_Anyway, make yourself at home. We'll be right back. _

_Sookie_

He read it then shifted his eyes, glancing around the room at his surroundings. He felt like he was in a very bad dream as hazy memories from the night before flooded his mind.

He was at Sookie's, in her bed. He'd cried, he'd groveled, and he'd cuddled with her like a defenseless child, and now, the morning after, he felt like a world-class douche.

There was no way in hell, he could sit and have breakfast with her; not after last night; although the thought of seeing Hannah briefly brought a smile to his face. Hannah aside; however, he knew, without a doubt, he had only one option.

He had to get the hell out of there and he needed to do it quick before they got back home.

* * *

So, I hope y'all liked it!

The next chapter will be up Monday and I'll put a teaser up on my blog of it tomorrow!

Don't forget to get your I Write the Songs contest entries in ... There's only about a month left to submit ...


	8. Chapter 8

**Happy Monday to all!**

**Before we get into this week's chapter, I do wanna take a moment and thank everyone for reading and reviewing this story; especially the last chapter ... I never got a chance to respond to any of the reviews from this past week and I feel horrible about it!**

**Now that that's out of the way, Thanks to Northwoman, my beta! I've said it a million times! She Rocks!**

**Also, SVM is Charlaine Harris' and Changes belongs to David Bowie,**

**Now, on to the story! Enjoy ...  
**

Eric was almost home free, having made it all the way to the front door of Sookie's apartment and so far, she hadn't made it home yet.

He'd found his shoes and socks, pants, and shirt easily enough. They'd been crumpled up in the floor, lying beside the bed. He hadn't remembered taking them off, but he obviously had, seeing as he'd woke up wearing nothing but his boxers and undershirt.

Once dressed, he'd headed straight for the door, ignoring the tempting and delicious smell of coffee which filled the loft, his growling stomach, which was very excited about whatever it was Sookie would be bringing home, and the pounding in his head, which was a direct result of the bottle of bourbon he'd drank the night before.

As much as he wanted to have a cup of coffee, eat, and then crawl right back into Sookie's bed and sleep till noon, he knew he couldn't. Not only was he really fucking embarrassed over his behavior the night before, he felt he'd severely overstayed his welcome; especially considering he was probably never really welcome in the first place.

All he had to do now was make it out the door, downstairs, and out of the building without running into her. Once he'd done that, he could then figure out exactly how he was getting home, seeing as his Audi was already there, parked in his garage, and his Camaro was currently parked at his club, and both were several blocks away from Sookie's in different directions.

The distance between his club and Sookie's hadn't seemed quite as vast, last night, when he'd made the journey on foot, but he'd been drunk as shit then, so he realized that was probably why. He figured he'd probably need to either take a bus or call a cab to get to the club to get his Camaro once outside and then he'd head home from there.

His hand reached up to the handle, and just as he was about to slide the door open, it slid open from the other side. Sookie was standing there. Her hands were almost full between her keys and bags and Hannah was strapped tightly to her chest in what looked like some sort of fabric, sling contraption.

"Oh! Eric!" Sookie exclaimed, obviously surprised by the fact he was standing in her way. She slipped by him and sat her purse and Hannah's diaper bag down on a small table which sat by her door. "And just where do you think you're going? I got fresh beignets."

She was all smiles as she held up a greasy bag that not only smelled wonderful to him, but looked good too. There was just something about the grease seeping through the paper bag and the smudges of powdered sugar on it that let you know what was inside the bag was pure heaven.

"Sookie, I can't stay." He shook his head and winced. "I … I believe I've imposed on you enough." His stomach growled, loudly.

"Nonsense, Eric." She shook her head. "You're hungry and I know you wanna see Hannah. I'll get us coffee and you … take off your clothes and go have a seat." She handed him the bag of beignets and pointed to her couch.

"Excuse me?" he asked; eyes wide. He was extremely taken aback at her request.

She just giggled and shook her head. "Take off your clothes, so I can wash them for you, Eric," she clarified, laughing. "You sorta stink. Oh … and I got you a toothbrush while I was out." She nodded. "I figured you might want to clean up a bit."

She was right. That sorta thing tended to happen when he went on one of his benders. He stunk and he was well aware of it. It had been a couple days since he'd showered or changed clothes. In fact, he hadn't been home since Tuesday. That night, he'd fucked Ginger again, and then he'd slept in his office. Now, two days later, even he could smell himself and he had the absolute worst taste imaginable in his mouth, but as enticing as Sookie's offer to clean up sounded, he wanted to leave so incredibly badly. Mostly, to save face, but also because he didn't feel worthy of being there with her and Hannah.

But Sookie was making it quite impossible now, wasn't she?

He shook his head. "Sookie, you really didn't have to do that … and I can wash my own clothes. It's been a few days since I've been there, so I really need to get home, get cleaned up, and then get back to work."

He just couldn't fathom why she was being so freaking nice to him after the way he'd treated her in the past. Really, there'd only been one instance where he hadn't been a complete ass to her and that was his first night with Hannah; and even then, he hadn't been overly nice. Every other time he'd been with her, he'd made no effort to be friendly or understanding, yet she almost always treated him as good as gold. And on top of the way he'd treated her in the past, he'd barged into her home like a crazy man, drunk off his ass, the night before.

He didn't deserve the way she treated him, at all.

Suddenly, he realized, in that way, Sookie reminded him a lot of Pam. Pam wasn't exactly as nice as Sookie, but he'd been an ass to her, too, in the beginning and in spite of it, she still pursued a friendship with him, just as Sookie was doing now.

***s*S*s***

_He stood, waiting at the bar for a little service. It was taking forever, but it was Mardi Gras. Every bar on Bourbon Street was packed and so was the street for that matter. The only good thing about the crowds was nobody questioned his fake I.D. They were too busy and overwhelmed with keeping order, despite all the chaos; to notice the tiny, imperfections that were often a dead giveaway his I.D. was fake. _

_Someone behind him grabbed his ass and purred, "Hey Sexy!"_

_He turned, to see who it was and wasn't exactly happy when he got his answer. It was Paula – no – Patricia – no. Fuck, he didn't remember her name, only that he'd fucked her two weeks before and now, he kept running into her, everywhere he went._

"_Gonna buy a lady a drink?" she asked then winked._

_Why wouldn't she leave him alone? He wondered. She'd criticized his abilities in bed after he'd fucked her and made it clear she had no intention of sleeping with him again, and he'd made it clear she was a bitch, yet still, every time he saw her, she approached him, always wanting to chit-chat._

_Well, he had news for her. He didn't chit-chat with anyone! _

_And he may have only been eighteen, but he knew he was good in bed! _

_He'd been on his own for two years, already - emancipated at age sixteen, after the death of parents - and in that time, he'd been with too many girls to count – most, older and much more experienced - and he'd learned a thing or two about how to please a woman. He was pretty sure he'd done things to her most guys his age wouldn't attempt - at least not with a one night stand - and done them better, to boot._

_She was just a bitch! _

"_Nope … wasn't planning on it. Besides, I don't see any ladies around, anyway," he responded, coldly, before turning his attention back to the bar._

_He'd hoped she'd leave and he'd made it a point to be a little harsher than normal, this time, in hopes she'd actually take the hint, but just like the times before, she didn't take it at all. He really wondered exactly how much of an asshole he'd need to be to get his point across. _

_Still behind him, she tapped his shoulder and he turned back around. "Can you not take a fucking hint?" he barked._

"_No," she said, matter-of-factly. "But I will take a Cosmo. That's what they drink on _Sex and the City_," she informed him, smirking._

Sex and the City_, he thought, rolling his eyes. What a stupid bitch. He shook his head. "Look, unless you plan on coming home with me again, I ain't buying you shit. So leave me the fuck alone." _

"_Fine!" she snarked. She turned and strode off, leaving him alone, but she didn't stay gone for too long; much to his dismay. It was only a few days later at a different bar when she approached him again. "Hey sexy! You gonna buy me that drink? _

_***s*S*s***  
_

Eric had been awful to Pam in the beginning, but no matter how he treated her, she just wouldn't go away and she'd eventually turned out to be his match in every single way. Well, all but one, but he wasn't really into love or romance anyway.

Now, all these years later, Pam was gone, but, last night he'd realized, there was Sookie. As she'd reminded him, they were in this together. _They_ were Hannah's parents, not him or her. They. He knew they needed to be there for each other to some extent, in order to give Hannah the life Pam wanted her to have, but he was so conflicted and unsure of where exactly to draw the line with her.

For a split second, Pam's words from her letter ran through his head.

_Let Sookie in, Eric._

Could he really do that - let her in? He knew it was a huge risk. Doing so would not only take him way the fuck out of his comfort zone, but also open up so much potential for hurt. He'd let in Pam and he'd sort of let in Ashley and Indira, but aside from that, he hadn't let anyone in; not in a really long time. As far as he was concerned, he'd lucked out with the few people he'd allowed himself to grow close to. The last thing he wanted was a repeat from the past and he could very well get that if he allowed himself to become too open with someone like Sookie.

"You own a nightclub, Eric … and it's not even 10am." She looked at him like he was nuts. "I really doubt you need to be there so early."

She had that right. He usually went to the gym around noon and then the club around two or three; not leaving until it closed, but unless there was an incoming shipment, or a special event, there was rarely anything for him to do before the club opened at night, other than sit in his office and pretend to be busy.

Hell, that was actually the case most nights during business hours as well.

He and Pam had opened the club about seven years ago, right after they'd graduated college and he'd gained access to his trust fund, and now, with competent managers in place, it pretty much ran like a well-oiled machine. It was becoming, and had been for a while, more and more apparent he wasn't needed there; at least not nearly as much as he was, but work was a part of his routine and his routine was something he tended to stick to.

"Come on Eric," Sookie appealed to him. "Play hookie with us." She nodded; a huge grin plastered on her face. "At least for a few hours." She reached inside the sling she wore, pulling Hannah out. Holding the smiling, baby girl in her arms, so Eric could see her adorable smile; she questioned, "How can you possibly say no to this precious face?"

He couldn't, damn it. He fucking couldn't.

* * *

I hoped you liked it! Let me know what you thought and finish up your contest entries! You have about three more weeks to get them submitted for judging!

Oh ... and also, I never thanked **Dazedrose** for the lovely banner she made for this story! It was perfect and gorgeous and I love it! As of now, it can be seen over on the contest site ... ... it's posted in the sample fic section ... but maybe I'll post it over on my blog's story page, when I get the chapter up over there!


	9. Chapter 9

**Happy Monday to all!**

**Again, I didn't answer any reviews! And I was getting so darn good about it! So, to all that reviewed, Thank you!  
**

**Also, Thanks to Northwoman for betaing!  
**

**As always, SVM is Charlaine Harris' and Changes is David Bowies.  
**

**Now, on to the story ...  
**

Sookie'd barely been home an hour and she was already glad she'd made the decision to ask Eric to stay. When she'd first woken up, she'd actually debated whether she should ask him to or not. She was still pretty upset over their fight the previous Sunday and a little pissed he'd showed up at her loft drunk and unannounced, in the middle of the night, but she'd meant it when she'd told him they were in this together and she didn't want to see him unhappy; even though he wasn't her favorite person.

Ultimately, she'd decided a little time with Hannah might do him some good, but she was quickly finding a little time with him was doing her some good, as well; even though he'd barely said two words since sitting down on her couch after his shower.

"These are so good," he finally said, drawing her attention away from Hannah.

Sookie turned her head and looked up at him. She wanted to giggle, but somehow managed to only grin at him as he stuffed the last bite of his third beignet into his mouth.

He'd fought her when she'd strode over to her couch, where he'd sat with Hannah, holding two cups of coffee and a silky robe in her hand. She'd sat down the coffee on her coffee table and held the robe out to him insisting he put it on so she could wash his clothes.

"I'm not wearing that!" He'd protested, pointing at it.

"Come on, Eric. You know you'll feel better once you've cleaned up and put on fresh clean clothes."

"My pants are dry-clean only and I feel fine," he'd reasoned. "Plus, I really shouldn't stay long … gotta get to work." He nodded.

Sookie had rolled her eyes at his excuses. "Take a shower and put on the damn robe. It won't take that long."

Eventually he'd given in and when he'd stepped out of her bathroom wearing nothing but her pink, satin robe she couldn't help but point, stare, and laugh at the sight of him. It was possibly one of the most hilarious things she'd ever seen. Pink was definitely not his color; at least not silky pink. Also, he was tall and she wasn't really, so her robe barely covered him.

"It's not funny," he'd grumbled as she'd pointed and snickered.

She just couldn't help herself then, and she barely could now.

"I'm glad you like them," she said, still attempting to hold back her laughter. She nodded then took a sip of her coffee before returning to her task at hand.

Having finished her own breakfast while Eric had been in the shower, she'd moved on to feeding the baby. She'd been sitting on the floor, below where he now sat, feeding Hannah a meal of banana baby food she'd made from scratch, herself.

As she spooned the nearly liquefied mixture of organic bananas and formula into the baby girl's mouth, she turned her head back toward him and said, "See, aren't you glad you stayed?"

She sure was, she thought. It was nice to spend time with other adults; even if the other adult in question was someone she didn't really get along with much.

He nodded, reaching for his coffee, which sat on the coffee table in front of him. He took a sip, sat the cup back down then climbed down onto the floor beside her and Hannah. "Do you mind … can I? He asked, pointing to the spoon in Sookie's hand.

She couldn't help but notice he smelled like her raspberry and shea butter body wash with a hint of lingering bourbon. Surprisingly, to her, the scents mixed well and she thought he smelled wonderful. She couldn't help but hesitate, for a brief moment, breathing him in, as she relinquished the spoon to him, nodding.

She sat back against her couch; unable to take her eyes off him as he happily fed the baby girl. Judging by the smile on his face, it was as if he'd made a complete turn-around from the way he'd felt the night before and she was glad because she'd suddenly realized, she really liked his smile.

In that moment, Sookie couldn't have been surer she'd made the right decision asking him to stay and it wasn't just because he was in a better mood. She was too and she knew it was all because of him.

So far, her week hadn't exactly been bad, but it hadn't been all that pleasurable, either. She'd had little to no trouble taking care of Hannah; in fact, that had been the simplest part. She'd babysat when she'd been in high school and she'd helped her cousin Hadley take care of her son, Hunter, right after he'd been born, so taking care of Hannah had all come pretty easily, but that said; it didn't mean she was adjusting all that well, or easily, to her new-found role as a parent.

She'd always thought Hannah was cute as a button; ever since Pam had first introduced her to her new baby girl, and she'd grown to absolutely adore her over the past few days, but she was so used to being able to come and go as she pleased and she'd found with a baby, that was really hard, if not impossible, to do. Also, she was exhausted - all the time, it seemed - and she missed her social life terribly; having not gone out, or seen any of her friends all week.

Despite their previous friction and the fact she knew his main drive for hanging around was Hannah and not her, his being there was giving her a small sense of normalcy she'd been missing horribly, and she couldn't help but feel grateful he'd stayed.

"She's asleep," Sookie announced quietly as she came up behind her couch, a little over two hours later.

Eric stood up and turned to face her. He was dressed in his clothes from the night before. He'd put them back on the minute they'd finished drying. Sookie'd washed all but his pants, but she had thrown them in the dryer with a dryer sheet to freshen them up a bit. He looked a million times better than he had last night, she thought.

"I'd better go," he said, nodding his head toward the door.

The whole time he'd been there he'd focused his attention almost completely on Hannah, but in spite of that, she'd still enjoyed his company. She'd enjoyed it a lot more than she'd ever expected she would and she didn't want him to leave; at least not yet.

"No … don't go," she insisted, hoping she didn't sound too desperate. "At least stay and have lunch."

***s*S*s***

It took a little convincing, but Eric eventually agreed to stay. Again.

From across the bar, Sookie handed him a plate, holding a tuna sandwich, and then took a seat across from him, on a stool, at her kitchen counter. "So," she said, but then stopped and said nothing else. She was smiling again and it was driving him nuts.

First she'd used Hannah to get him to stay then she'd sucked him in again with her smile. What the hell was it about her fucking smile that turned him into a pushover every time? It had to be fucking magical, he thought. When she smiled, the entire room lit up and it made him feel so damn good – like he had found someone who actually cared. But why would she care? He thought. He still couldn't figure that one out, but he knew he had to figure out a way to work with her for Hannah's sake.

"So," he said then picked up his sandwich and took a bite.

The problem was, he didn't know what to say to her, but apparently, she hadn't known what to say either. He hadn't figured out how much of himself he should share with her. As good as being around her made him feel at times; she still made him nervous as hell for so many reasons.

"Do you like your sandwich?" She finally asked, breaking the awkward silence which had fallen upon them as he chewed his food and swallowed.

"Yeah." He nodded, smiling. "It's good. Is this homemade bread?" he asked curiously, noticing it definitely wasn't the stuff he bought himself at the grocery store.

"Mm hmm." She nodded, smiling. "My Gran's berry wheat recipe." The fact she made her own bread surprised the hell out of him, for some reason and it apparently showed on his face. "Don't look so surprised. I'm from a teeny, tiny town and I grew up with my grandma."

He had to admit, she was getting more and more interesting with everything he learned about her, but realized he still barely knew anything. He found himself wanting to know more, though, and again warning bells started ringing in his head. He took another bite, wanting to finish as quickly as he could and get out of there.

"Did you grow up here?" she asked.

He nodded, hoping she wouldn't ask him to elaborate on his family. He didn't talk about them with anyone. Well, anyone except Pam. She was the only person he'd ever felt comfortable even broaching that subject with and it had taken a really long time and a whole lot of liquor before any of that awful story had been told.

"Wow! It must have been wild growing up here!"

She had that right, he thought. "Yeah, it was." He nodded and smiled, thinking back. It had been wild and he'd had money and freedom, but then he remembered the reason he had money and freedom. His smile started to fade, so he took another bite of his sandwich; not wanting to let his emotion show.

Money and freedom - those were the only good things that had come from all the shit his parents had put him through.

"What do ya wanna do after lunch?" She asked.

He wanted to leave. That's what he wanted to do, but that wasn't what was going to happen.

Wearing that alluring damn smile, yet again, she batted her eyelashes and suggested, "Let me show you some of my paintings."

He'd totally meant to shake his head, no, but for some reason, it nodded instead. He suddenly realized if there was one thing he knew for sure, without a doubt, in regard to Sookie Stackhouse, it was he was truly done for.

* * *

Hope you liked it! Let me know what ya thought!

Also ... there's about 2 weeks left to submit your entries into the I Write Songs contest! Y'all better get on it!


	10. Chapter 10

**Bet y'all thought I forgot ...**

**I didn't ... I got a job, so I was working today! It's yet to be determined if it's a good thing or not ... I haven't decided if I like it.  
**

**I'm in a bit of a hurry, so I just wanna say thanks to everyone that reads and reviews and to Northwoman for betaing ...  
**

**Everything SVM is Charlaine Harris' and Changes is David Bowie's.  
**

Eric walked into his office, shutting the door behind him. He couldn't believe what he'd just done.

As if things between him and Sookie weren't complicated enough for him, he'd had a moment of weakness on his way back to work from the gym. He'd found himself compelled to buy her flowers – a shitload of flowers – and a pretty expensive bottle of Champagne for her birthday.

He didn't know why he'd done it. In fact, he'd never bought flowers or Champagne for anyone. So, why Sookie? He wondered. Sure; she'd told him about her birthday, the day before, but that didn't mean he had to go out and buy her a gift. It wasn't like they were even that close.

All he knew, was when he saw them, in the window of the florist shop two doors down from his bar, they totally reminded him of her. They were beautiful and dainty, yet they gave him the impression they were also wild and free, and their colors of orange and yellow were reminiscent of the sun; just like her smile, which he was sure could light up any room.

Upon seeing them, he'd marched right into the shop with no question in his mind. He was buying those flowers for Sookie. He just had to.

The shop had been empty, aside from him and the florist, so she'd greeted him promptly. "Hi, Sir. Is there anything in particular I can help you with?" She'd asked.

"Those flowers in the window … the orange and yellow ones." He'd pointed to them. "I'd like to buy them."

"Oh … the Gerbera Daisies. They're gorgeous. Someone's very lucky." She'd nodded, smiling. "How many would you like, sir," the florist had asked him as she walked over to the bin in the window, which held them.

"All of them," he'd answered. "I'll take all you have."

He'd bought them all. Not just the four dozen which had been arranged neatly in the bin in the window, probably to draw in suckers like himself, but every single orange and yellow daisy in the shop and a fucking bottle of Cristal.

He had surely fucking lost his damn mind. He'd just spent ridiculous amount of money, in only about five minutes of time, on a person he barely knew, and now, he was seriously questioning that decision.

He strode over to his desk, taking a seat in his chair; completely stuck in his own head. The way things were progressing between them, and the fact it was happening almost involuntarily really fucking freaked him out.

He hadn't even actually decided to take the leap and let himself get close to her, but that was exactly what he was doing. And it wasn't just the flowers or the Champagne. His inability to keep his walls up around her had started way before them. They were just the tip of the iceberg.

When he was around her, it was as if no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn't hold back from her; even though it went against every fiber of his being. He didn't understand it and he just couldn't take it. He was losing all his control, he felt, and he had no clue how to get it back.

But the scariest part, though, was he wasn't sure if he really wanted to.

In spite of everything about Sookie, which frightened him, concerned him, and drove him absolutely nuts, he felt she was just so incredibly perfect, in such an imperfect and chaotic way and for some reason; that was really tempting to him.

She made him feel warm inside, like Hannah did and Pam had and whenever he was around her, he felt cared for and wanted. And the more time he spent with her, the less empty his heart felt. It was almost like she was filling the space Pam had left there.

God, and the way she smiled at him, he thought, shaking his head. Her smile could be such a fucking breath of fresh air. He shut his eyes, hoping if he concentrated really hard he could catch a glimpse of it in his mind. It worked and for the briefest of moments, he felt completely content, until he caught himself slipping and realized what he was doing.

He buried his head in his hands and sighed. "Fuck!" Would it really be that bad if he got to know her a little better? He wondered, sinking down into the chair; his legs stretched out in front of him, but then he finally got it. He realized the question he'd been pondering was totally irrelevant. He was already so in over his head with her, it was ridiculous and he realized because of Hannah, there was no going back; no matter how much his instinct told him to. "Fuck me," he groaned, shaking his head. He definitely needed a drink.

*s*S*s*

"Sorry we got you in trouble the other day," Lafayette said, as he skillfully wrapped a strand of Sookie's hair around the barrel of the curling iron he held. "Was he real mad?"

Sookie winced, remembering their argument. Eric had said some pretty hurtful stuff. "He was pretty pissed," she answered, looking at Lafayette's reflection in the mirror in front of them, as opposed to actually looking at him.

Lafayette nodded, to the mirror as well. "He seemed it."

"But don't worry about it." Sookie shook her head. "It's no big deal, now," she insisted, assuming that was the case now.

Eric had spent the better part of the day with her and Hannah, the day before, and he hadn't acted like it still bothered him; nor had he mentioned it. Plus, he hadn't exactly shown he was the pillar of responsibility, showing up at her loft drunk, in the middle of the night, so she'd chosen to take the high road and forgive and forget. She was fairly confident he'd come to the same conclusion.

It was no longer a big deal and even if it was, she didn't care – not tonight.

Tonight, she didn't have a care in the world. Sunday was her birthday, but she was celebrating it tonight. Ashley was keeping Hannah and she was going to do whatever it took to have herself a damn good time.

She deserved it after the week she'd had.

By the time she was dressed and ready to go, Claude had arrived, but so had something else.

As he rolled a pre-party joint, he pointed out an enormous bouquet of flowers and a box, sitting on her kitchen counter. "Those came while you were in the bathroom." He motioned to the counter with his head. "You been hidin' shit, sweetpea?" He asked, inquisitively.

"No!" Sookie giggled, shaking her head, then shrugged. She was just as perplexed as him. "I, honestly, have no clue who they could be from." She walked over to the counter and inspected the beautiful and massive arrangement of orange and yellow daisies and the tall, slender box which sat beside it.

She took the card from the flowers and read it.

_Happy Birthday … E. _

E, she thought, nearly dumbfounded. Eric had sent her flowers – a lot of flowers. And they were really pretty! Although she tried, she was unable to stifle the smile, which was quickly spreading across her face.

"They're from Eric," she announced; not quite sure what to think.

Next, she opened the box and pulled out an obscenely expensive bottle of Cristal Champagne. Her smile only grew bigger and it really made her wonder. Sure, she loved gifts, regardless where they came from, but why was a gift from Eric making her feel like a fifteen year old girl who'd been asked to senior prom?

Suddenly, she realized she really, really, really liked Eric; despite the fact he was an asshole. Hell, the fact he was such an asshole made things like this, that much more special and sweet, she thought.

But she still didn't know what to make of it. She hadn't ever expected Eric, of all people, to send her flowers or Champagne. It seemed so unlike him; especially given he'd never gone out of his way to be nice to her, even when he was actually already being nice. She shook her head, confused, but still smiling from ear to ear, as she stared down at the bottle in her hands and the plethora of daisies on her counter.

Finally, she turned to her friends, holding the bottle in the air. "Well, let's get drunk!"

*s*S*s*

A drink turned into two, then three, until eventually, he lost count – a typical night in the life of Eric Northman. He probably wouldn't stop till the bottle was empty; especially after what he'd just decided to do.

He was well aware he'd have never even thought about doing it, if it weren't for the fact he was drunk, but he was also well aware it was very necessary, if not for himself and for her, then for Hannah. He couldn't ignore or deny what was building between them; not if they were going to give Hannah the life she deserved. Plus, he was kind of running low in the friend department and Sookie was the only candidate for the position. He'd come to the conclusion he really liked her. She scared the hell out of him, but he still really liked her and he had to give her a chance.

He picked up his glass, taking a drink as he typed his message into his phone with his other hand. When he finished, he read over it; reluctant as hell to press send. But he knew if he didn't do it, he'd end up doing it anyway in some other compulsory way and at least this way, it was on his terms.

He had to do it, he thought. He knew he had to do it, but he was still freaking out. Actually, he felt like he was diving into a kiddy pool, head first and at nearly six-five, that was completely insane, but he hit send anyway.

*s*S*s*

Thumping music and flashing, colorful lights filled the club as Sookie danced atop the table where her friends had gathered. "This is the best birthday ever!" she shouted, waving her arms in the air; never missing a single beat.

Drunk.

That's what Sookie had wanted and that's exactly what she'd got, but even she had to admit, despite all she'd had to drink, what really had her going was the Ecstasy Claude had given her. It had been the best gift of the evening, as far as she was concerned, and may have even topped Eric's flowers; although, the flowers definitely took the cake for most unexpected.

Four of her closest friends had treated her to dinner at her favorite Mexican Restaurant, and then they'd all headed out to dance and drink the night away and they were all succeeding.

Tara, one of Sookie's oldest friends and Lafayette's cousin, was passed out on the seat of the booth at their table. She'd had a few too many and had apparently partied way too hard, too fast.

And Amelia, who was another artist and a self-proclaimed witch, was off; who knows where, doing who knows what, with who knows who. She was definitely the wild one of the group and the only other, besides Sookie, who'd taken Ecstasy, so there was no telling where she'd ran off to, or if she was even still there, for that matter.

Claude and Lafayette were still around, though, and although they were both reaching their limits, they were definitely still in the game, drinking and dancing, right at her side.

She was on cloud nine, loving everyone and everything imaginable. She had not a care in the world. In fact, she was pretty sure she was having the time of her life. "I love you guys! And I love the music and the pretty lights! And I love to dance!"

She never wanted the night to end, but all too soon, last call was called, the music stopped, and the lights came up. Her night was over, just like that.

It wasn't till she reached her loft that she looked at her phone, which had been safely tucked away in her purse, all night long. She realized she had a text from Eric.

_Do you have plans on the 4__th__? Club's closed. Wanna do something with Hannah and me?_

* * *

Tell me what you thought!_  
_


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay ... I got the job and now I'm busy, busy, busy ... and I'm behind on everything in my life ... **

**I worked 8 days straight, but I finally got a day off today, so I was finally able to finish up this chapter. **

**Very quickly, because I gotta run then catch up on all the contest entries, I'd like to thank everyone! All of you rock! All of you that read and review ... and Northwoman for betaing and for putting up with my lateness! **

**Finally, SVM isn't mine, it's Charlaine Harris' and Changes, is David Bowies ...**

**Enjoy ...**

It was the Fourth of July, the sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, but despite the day off from work and the lovely weather, Eric was uneasy. He'd told himself over and over; there was no reason to be. It wasn't as if he and Sookie hadn't spent time together before. But he hadn't convinced himself, at all, because there was just no denying this time was different.

This time, he intended to make a real effort to allow her to get to know him and to him, that was huge.

When she'd first arrived, he'd been able to avoid her, leaving her in his kitchen, to heat up the food she'd brought, while he'd headed outside to fire up the grill. He just never knew what to say around her; usually for fear he'd say too much, and now, he still felt the same, only it was because he didn't want to come on too strong. He clearly didn't know how to share himself with others. His barriers had been in place far too long.

But now, the food was ready; they were eating, and he couldn't avoid her, or the reason he'd invited her over, anymore. He'd made his bed, when he'd texted her Friday night, and now, he had to lie in it because she was sitting right across from him at the table. There was absolutely no turning back; not that there ever was to begin with, he thought, popping an entire devilled egg into his mouth.

Now, it was time for him to make good on his intentions.

But he still didn't know what to say to her.

Eventually, knowing he needed to say something and figuring Hannah was the safest bet to start, he nervously said, "Hannah'll probably be up soon."

Sookie looked up at him, from her plate, and nodded, smiling. "I can't wait to see her."

Her smile did what it always did. It put him at ease. He sat back in his chair; still a bit unsure of himself, but definitely feeling a lot better about the situation at hand. He could do this.

"I guess when she's up, we'll feed her then we'll hit the pool and hang out till she's ready for her next nap," he suggested.

"Oh … I'm glad you mentioned feeding her. I almost forgot." She giggled and shrugged. "I went to the farmers' market yesterday and I got a bunch of bananas and made a shitload of her food." She nodded. "I brought you some. I put most of it in your freezer. Just thaw what you need the day before," she explained.

"Thanks." He smiled. "You'll have to show me how to make it sometime."

She nodded. "I will. It's so much better than that store-bought garbage. I wanna try her on apricots soon. I'll show you then." She took a bite of her steak, then said, "You know. It's the perfect day for this … a cookout by a pool. Thanks for having me."

"It's important," he said, matter-of-factly. "For Hannah." And for him, but he still wasn't quite ready to admit that to her. "To do things together … you know … like … like a family."

"I think it's what Pam wanted," she said, nodding. "I still don't know why she chose us, though."

He'd just bit into a piece of fried chicken, so he shrugged then shook his head as he chewed. He still wasn't sure, himself. Finally, after swallowing what may have been the best fried chicken he'd ever eaten, he told her as much. "I'm not sure either."

Lord only knew, although he felt he really tried, he was a pretty shitty dad. He still hadn't managed to quit drinking, he was almost never home, and most of the time he was with Hannah, she was asleep. In all honesty, Hannah had more contact with the Child Watch people at his gym, Ashley, and her friend Dawn, who watched Hannah when Ashley couldn't, than she'd had with him during his weeks, so far.

He wondered if any of it would ever change.

He hoped it would, but wasn't sure how he'd make any of it happen. He'd tried with the drinking and so far, had failed miserably; always turning right back to the bottle. And as for work, he was fully aware he wasn't really needed at the bar; at least not the eighty hours a week he was there, but he just couldn't break away from that, either.

They were his norm – his routine.

He didn't know why it was so hard to change; especially when Hannah made him feel way more fulfilled than anything else in his life.

He was so fucked up.

"We may never know why," he pointed out, shaking his head.

Sookie giggled, shaking her head. "One of the mysteries of the universe … I suppose."

"That's for sure," he agreed, nodding.

*s*S*s*

They hadn't quite finished eating when Hannah's cries sounded through the baby monitor, alerting them to the fact she was awake.

Eric, who'd just taken a bite of potato salad, sat his fork down on his plate. "I'd better go get her," he said.

Sookie nodded. "You need some help?"

"No, you finish your lunch," he told her, shaking his head. "I got her. I'll be right back." He stood up, turned, and strode toward the French door, leading into the kitchen then disappeared behind it.

She'd had reservations about spending the day with Eric, ever since she'd responded to his text on Friday night. It wasn't because she didn't want to spend time with him, or with Hannah, though. It was simply because she felt Eric was acting strange.

He wasn't being himself; at least not the Eric she'd become accustomed to. The Eric she was used to, would never have sent her flowers for her birthday, or invited her over to simply hang out, on a very family-oriented, national holiday, no less; at least she was pretty sure he wouldn't have.

Regardless of her reservations, though, she was so glad he'd invited her and that she'd come. She was having such a good time and she was really enjoying his company. For some reason, she always did. There was just something about him. Something that made her want to smile and that was a big deal for her because after Pam had died, there was a time she'd never thought she'd want to smile again.

She was also really excited to see Hannah and was so glad she was finally awake. As frustrating as her first week with the baby had been, once she was back with Eric, Sookie'd found she'd missed Hannah terribly.

Over the past couple of days, she'd managed to keep herself busy, in an attempt to get her life back to normal. She'd hung out and partied with her friends, painted, shopped, and cooked and she'd really had a good time, but she'd found Hannah had occupied her mind the entire time; no matter what she was doing.

The truth was slowly setting in for her. She was starting to realize the impossible was happening and things would never be normal again.

She was becoming a mom.

*s*S*s*

Eric stripped off his shirt, setting it down behind him. He and Sookie were both sitting on the edge of the pool, with their feet resting on the steps under the water. He turned to Sookie, who was holding Hannah in her lap, trying not to stare at her boobs. He'd been a little taken by them, along with the rest of her, ever since she'd stripped off her long, strapless dress, revealing the tiny, green bikini, hidden underneath.

His suspicions she was hot, under her glasses and baggy clothes, had definitely been correct, but he needed to ignore that little fact. He needed Sookie firmly planted in the friend department. It wasn't that being her friend didn't have its own set of risks. It most certainly did, given his past and her lifestyle. But anything more would certainly spell disaster, and his fixation with her boobs definitely fell into the "anything more" category.

He needed to focus on Hannah to stifle the inappropriate thoughts, which were swarming in his brain like wildfire; at least till Sookie was covered again, so that's just what he did.

"You sure it's okay to have her in the pool? She's not too little?" he questioned.

"It's fine, as long as we keep her head above water." She nodded. "My cousin Hadley and I took her little boy Hunter to the pool when he was a baby and I double checked online, yesterday, just to be safe," she assured him, smiling. "We should just stay here, near the steps, though."

Eric, gripping onto the side of the pool, nodded and slid his body down a couple steps; till the water was just past his waist. "Alright, let's do this," he said, reaching out for Hannah. Sookie handed her over then slid down into the water, herself.

He sat Hannah on the first step and they positioned themselves on each side of her; careful to keep her steady. She could sit up, but couldn't do it herself yet, and she was still a bit wobbly. Submerged, almost to her chest, Hannah giggled and flailed her arms, splashing away at the water.

"She really likes it!" He smiled over at Sookie.

She nodded. "I figured she would." She giggled. "She's always a trip when I give her a bath."

He had yet to do that – give Hannah a bath. Ashley or Dawn usually did it way before he got home from work and they only bathed her every other day or so, so he'd just never had to do it.

He really was a shitty dad.

"I … I've never given her a bath," he admitted, sheepishly.

"Never?" She looked shocked.

He shook his head and shrugged, wincing. "I'm always at work during bath-time." He frowned. "I suck. I know."

"No you don't." She shook her head. "We're both new at this and you're at work. It's not like you're neglecting her or anything," she insisted.

The frown on his face remained, despite her words. He appreciated her understanding, but he wasn't convinced. He knew work was more of a habit than a necessity, so he just couldn't agree that being at work was a good excuse.

"Come on, Eric, cheer up." She placed her hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. "Don't let this get you down. We'll give her a bath together, before I leave. I'll help you," she offered. "That way you don't feel like you're missing out on anything."

"I'd like that." He nodded.

*s*S*s*

They'd been outside, hanging out by the pool, for several hours before Hannah started getting cranky.

"I think it's almost naptime," Sookie pointed out, as the baby fussed and spit out the food Sookie'd just spooned into her mouth.

Eric looked up at the clock, which hung above the French doors, leading into the house. "It's after three-thirty. I'm surprised she's stayed up this long. She's been out by around three every day, so far, this week."

"Yeah, it was like that all last week too," Sookie agreed, nodding.

"I guess the bath'll have to wait," Eric said, looking a little disappointed.

"No, it doesn't have to wait." She shook her head. She'd had a great day with Hannah and with Eric, and she wasn't ready for it to end; even if Hannah was ready to sleep. She'd known they were in this together, but today, she'd realized how true that really was. They really did need each other if they intended to give Hannah the life Pam wanted her to have. "Why don't the two of you come over to my place after her nap?"

"I don't know," he said, shaking his head.

"I'll make us dinner, or you can just bring over the leftovers." She giggled. There were most certainly enough of them. They'd made entirely too much food. "We can bathe her and put her to bed, there, and then we'll watch the fireworks from my roof," she suggested, nodding. "It's the perfect view of the river, where they shoot them off."

She really hoped he'd say yes. Their day had just been so good. He'd made her laugh and smile and watching him with Hannah was amazing. He was so convinced he was a bad dad, but she could see he wasn't. He was great with her.

"I'd like to, Sookie, I'd really like to. I've had a great time with the two of you today, but I don't know if I should take her out that late."

"I could keep her for the night if you wanted, so you wouldn't have to wake her."

"Well." He looked around, seeming to be mulling it over in his head. Finally, he nodded. "Okay. We'll come."


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm a day late ... **

**Sorry! **

**I ran out of time yesterday before work, with only a paragraph or two left to write, so it had to wait ... and yes ... it was frustrating! LOL!**

**But if it makes y'all feel any better, I'm posting this at work, and I'm really not supposed to be online for personal use, nor do I like opening files with my writing on foreign computers ... My writing's mine and I don't want anyone to see it ... unless I want them too! LOL! So just know, I'm trying to look out for all y'all reading this!**

**Anyway, before we get to the chapter, as usual, a big, huge thanks to everyone who's reading and reviewing and also, to Northwoman ... the most fabulous beta ever! **

**Also, as usual, everything SVM is Charlaine Harris's and Changes is David Bowies.**

**Now, let's get to it!**

The beats of drums filled Sookie's loft, as they almost always did, when she painted. After arriving home, she'd flipped on her stereo and started painting; not stopping till she heard loud knocking, which didn't match the rhythm emitting from her sound system. It was her door, she realized, after a moment.

Eric.

She'd completely lost track of time, but she couldn't help herself. And it was totally his fault. When she'd got home, she'd just been so full of inspiration.

"I'll be there in a minute," she called out, over the loud music, as she stepped back and set her brush down. For a moment, she took in her creation. Two swirling, cerulean blue orbs – her interpretation of Eric's eyes. She smiled. They were beautiful – the painting and the real thing - but then again, so was the rest of him.

When she'd arrived at his house, he'd been wearing bright, orange swim trunks and a wife-beater and that had been enough to confirm to her his body was, indeed, as gorgeous as she'd always thought, but then, he'd taken off his shirt and she'd found he wasn't just gorgeous, he was absolutely magnificent.

She'd been glad she'd had Hannah there, to keep her mind, and eyes, averted from his strong, muscular arms and rippled abs and perfectly sculpted chest and back. She'd wanted to paint him the first time she'd seen him, and he'd been dressed then. Now, that she'd seen him shirtless, she sort of wanted to do a lot more than just paint him.

But they were just starting to make headway at being friends and Sookie didn't want to ruin it, by being too forward with him. She honestly wasn't sure how he'd take something like that, or if he'd even reciprocate, and at this stage in the game, she didn't want to test it, so she just felt it best, to keep her attraction to herself.

After covering her unfinished painting and flipping off the music with the remote control, she turned and strode across the room to her door, sliding it open, and there, he stood, waiting patiently, with Hannah in his arms. He'd changed clothes and was now wearing a pair of loose, olive green cargo shorts, a t-shirt, and flip-flops. God, he looked really good, she thought.

"Sorry, I was painting," she said then winced. "I'm probably a mess." She looked down and realized she was right. She had blue paint all over herself.

He shook his head. "I should have called first. I'm sorry."

"No! It's fine. I lost track of time," she insisted, smiling. "Come on in." She swept her arm through the air, in an inward motion. "Make yourself at home and I'll get cleaned up a bit." She nodded.

*s*S*s*

Sookie cleaned up; while Eric put away the bottles and food he'd brought over for Hannah and retrieved all the leftovers he'd brought for them, from his car. He'd been putting up the stuff that needed to go in the fridge, when she'd finally emerged from her bathroom, clean and paint-free, apologizing again, for losing track of time.

"You really don't have to apologize, Sookie," he insisted, shaking his head, as he turned away from the fridge to face her. "It's …." He went silent when he found her, standing only a few feet away from him, barefoot, in a tank top and a short, cutoff, denim skirt. She was leaning against the counter, grinning and as beautiful as ever.

For a second or two, he just stared, smiling right back at her, taking her in, like the breath of fresh air she was.

Her hair was pulled back, messily, into a knot atop her head. Sprigs of her hair, some tipped in blue, he assumed from the paint she'd been using, stuck out all over and in every direction. It was complete chaos, yet somehow, it all made sense to him.

She was a mess, but damn, she was perfection, if he'd ever seen it.

She also hadn't put her glasses back on. Every time he'd seen her, she'd worn them, but today, she hadn't had them on at all. Their absence allowed him the chance to notice, what was possibly one her most beautiful features - her amazing, big, blue eyes.

Finally, he shook his head and finished. "… no big deal," he said then turned away from her, to close the refrigerator door, which was still standing wide open.

What the hell was that? He wondered. He leaned against the refrigerator and took a deep breath, in an attempt to clear his head, which was spinning.

He didn't understand what was happening to him. What was she doing to him? Pam had been pretty, too, and he'd never turned into a speechless idiot around her.

He just didn't get it.

"I'm still sorry," she insisted. "But instead of telling you, over and over, I'll just make it up to you."

Hoping she didn't notice what had just happened, but not knowing how she couldn't have; he took one more breath and turned back around just as she'd finished her sentence. He was glad she was at least acting like she hadn't noticed.

She smiled at him, and continued, revealing, "I wanna give you a painting."

She wanted to give him a painting. Why on earth would she want to do that? he couldn't help but wonder.

He couldn't let her do it. Her paintings were her livelihood. Although, he had to admit, there were a few he wouldn't mind having. He'd seriously been thinking about making offers on couple.

He'd been taken aback and pleasantly surprised, when she'd shown him her work. He'd been convinced, by the paintings on Pam's walls, in her home and office, that Sookie sucked as artist, but it only took seeing a few of them before he realized he'd been way wrong. It wasn't Sookie's talent or abilities as an artist he didn't like, but rather, Pam's taste in art.

"You really don't have to do that, Sookie." He shook his head.

"Yes, Eric, I think I do," she said matter-of-factly. "I want you to have _The Farmhouse_."

"No." He shook his head again. "I can't take that."

_The Farmhouse_, he remembered her explaining, was of the house in which she'd grown up, and the painting had hung over the fire place, there, until her gran had passed away. It had even managed to survive a fire. She'd painted it when she'd been fifteen and she considered it the first serious painting she'd done.

"When I finished it, and my gran saw it, and then I saw the look on her face, I knew what I wanted to be and I never looked back," she'd told him.

It really was his favorite of all her work. When he'd seen it, he'd immediately been drawn to it; although, he wasn't sure why. He'd never lived anywhere like it before; nor had he ever really wanted to, but there was just something about it, he couldn't quite put his finger on, that felt incredibly like home.

"Too bad." She nodded. "It's yours."

Shaking his head, he stumbled over his words. "I … I really … wow. I just don't know what to say, Sookie." He was shocked and very touched she wanted him to have that particular painting. He knew it meant a lot to her.

Shortly after, they all had dinner and now, she was bathing Hannah in her kitchen sink as he stood beside her, watching her and helping her when needed.

He'd thought a lot, earlier, after she'd left his house, while Hannah napped. He'd thought a lot about her and him and Hannah and their day together. As conflicted as he was, then and now, about the vast array of feelings he felt, while spending time with her, he had to admit, it had all felt so natural, the two of them, taking care of Hannah together, and he knew with every fiber of his being that was exactly what Pam had wanted for her.

Throughout the day, they'd taken turns, feeding her and changing her and it had all felt so right. He'd had this feeling that somehow, someday, as long as they stuck together and learned to trust one another, everything would turn out okay.

Even now, as Sookie bathed her, and he stood by her, watching, as she showed him what to do, it felt good; like it was how it should be.

"Help me rinse her." She nodded toward the cabinet in front of him. "Get me a cup … they're right in front of you, in the cabinet."

He reached up, opened the cabinet in front of him, and got out a plastic cup. "Here." He handed it to her.

She filled up the cup with water and very slowly and precisely poured it over the baby's head. "You wanna be really careful when you rinse her head," she explained. "Most of the shampoo claims to be no tears, but I don't trust any of it." She shook her head as she bent down till her face was only inches from Hannah's. "Isn't that right, Hannah?" she baby-talked. "I'm not gonna let it get in your eyes." She kissed the tip of the baby's nose.

It was moments like that which made him realize how great the day had been, even though it hadn't exactly gone as he'd planned. He'd still held back, way more than he'd intended to.

"Can you hand me her towel?" Sookie asked.

He nodded. "Yeah." He turned, picking up the towel, from the counter beside him then turned back to Sookie, handing it to her.

"Now, let's get her dry and ready for bed."

But tonight, though, he had another chance with her, and he'd vowed not to let the nagging voice in the back of his head win – risks be damned.

He needed a friend and Hannah deserved two parents that got along with each other. She needed them both and she needed them both on the same page, working together to give her the life Pam had wanted for her.

The next time that nagging bitch of a voice started to speak, he was going to think about all that and hopefully it would be enough to silence it, for good.

*s*S*s*

"Whoa … this isn't what I expected," Eric said, looking around, as he stepped out the large, metal door, leading to her loft's portion of the building's roof.

It may not have been a yard, like he had, or like she'd grown up with, but Sookie'd managed, to turn her roof into an awesome outdoor space. She'd filled it with flowers, potted plants, and outdoor furniture, allowing her a place she could not only use for relaxing and entertaining, but also, as an outdoor studio.

"What did you expect?" She giggled. "Black tar, A/C units, and skylights?"

"Something like that." He nodded, chuckling. "You're just so full of surprises." He shook his head.

"Like what?" she asked, a bit perplexed, as she strode over to the freestanding porch swing, which sat a few feet away from where they'd been standing.

"You're nothing like what I originally thought," he admitted as he followed her over, taking a seat beside her.

"Well, you really aren't either." She shook her head.

She'd been right on, in her original assessment; he'd proven that several times, but he'd turned out to be so much more. She just wished he'd open up a little more, though. Although, she had noticed, he had a little. It seemed, to her, he was taking teeny, tiny baby-steps.

"I hope that's a good thing." He winked at her.

"It is." She smiled.

"So, I'm not a total prick?" He chuckled.

She shook her head, still smiling, and giggled as she turned her body toward him, bringing her leg up onto the seat of the swing, bent at the knee. "Don't worry, there's more to Eric Northman than just being a prick."

"I'm glad you think that," he said, smiling at her.

*s*S*s*

The evening couldn't have been better, and it had only just begun. The fireworks hadn't even started yet, and already, Eric felt he was making a little progress. Finally.

It was probably the beers, he thought. Sookie'd gone downstairs, to get a couple more. They'd gone through the few they'd brought up pretty fast. He'd had three, so far – one with dinner and two since putting Hannah to sleep. Not really enough to do all that much, considering the way he drank, but apparently enough to loosen him up a bit.

He still wasn't about to spill to her his life story, but, for the most part, he'd managed to give her more than one word answers and avoidance. He'd also, for the most part, managed to keep his head together, since his first embarrassing moment in her kitchen. And, he'd only found himself caught up, staring at her boobs, twice.

He was doing pretty well, he thought.

He heard the creaking of the door and turned to see Sookie step out, just as a crash roared overhead, lighting up the sky.

Illuminated by the explosion of light, he was able to see her smile as she stared up at the sky. "I'm back, just in time!" she exclaimed. God, she was beautiful, he thought. He'd known it all along, but he'd really realized the full of extent of it today.

The sky darkened for a moment as she made her way back over to the swing. Another boom sounded and as the sky lit up, she was standing in front of him, holding out his beer.

He knew he should take it, but he couldn't. All he could do was look up at her.

"Here," she said, giggling. "What is it?" she asked, looking confused. "I don't have a booger hanging out of my nose, or something? Do I?

So much for keeping his head together, he thought. He'd done it again.

What the hell was he supposed to say to her now? He couldn't exactly tell her the truth – that she was, without a doubt, the most beautiful person he'd ever seen.

"No." He shook his head, finally taking his beer. He had no clue what else to say, but she just continued looking at him. He had to say something, so he said the first thing that popped into his head.

"I … I like you."

She giggled and he felt like a major dumb-ass, but then she sat back down, right beside him. She sat so close they were touching. In fact, she laid her head on his shoulder. "I like you, too," she simply said, making him feel a million times better about his kindergarten proclamation.

He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she curled further into his side, wrapping her arm around the small of his back. The fireworks continued to boom overhead, and they watched them in relative silence, but in spite of their lack of words, a lot was being said.

Something had happened and Eric no longer had any control, or maybe, deep down, he just didn't want it. Either way, his walls were down for the count.

Every now and again, he'd look down at her and he'd catch a glimpse of her smiling up, at the sky. Every single time he saw it, his heart fluttered and his body flooded with warmth. He didn't know what it was, or why it was happening, but he liked it.

"I'm glad you came over today … and I'm glad you invited me over here, tonight," he said quietly, between bursts, totally meaning each and every word.

Sookie sat up, just a little, and turned her top half toward him. Looking up at him, she smiled. "I'm glad, too. I've had a really great time with you."

He couldn't remember a time he'd enjoyed more from his adult life. It had been so much more than great. "Me too," he agreed, knowing it wasn't enough. The problem was; his feelings were so intense. No words could ever explain how he felt, at the moment.

The Grand Finale rumbled in the distance and the distance between them closed, but he'd tuned it all out completely. He hadn't even realized either of them had moved, till their lips pressed together and her arms wrapped around his neck.

For a moment, as they kissed, he was lost, completely, not thinking, at all, only feeling, but then his brain kicked back in. He pulled away, suddenly, apologizing.

"I … I'm sorry. I shouldn't have … I should go," he insisted and started to stand.

Sookie grabbed his hand. "Don't be sorry, Eric." She shook her head. "And please, don't go."

* * *

So ... I really hope y'all liked it and it was worth the wait ... I'd originally planned not to have anything romantic happen till the end, but y'all convinced me otherwise ... LOL!


	13. Chapter 13

**Funny story ... I sent this chapter to Northwoman to beta - Thanks to her, by the way and to all of you! **

**She emailed me, letting me know she'd read it and we exchanged several emails back and forth. In one of them, was the attachment for the corrected chapter, but I was so into our emails, I didn't see the attachment at all. Fast-forward to today ... I'm thinking, I'll be getting the chapter any time now! I pull up my email to see if it's come in and low and behold, it's been there since yesterday! So, I could've had this posted last night! Whoops!  
**

**Anyway, as always, SVM belongs to Charlaine Harris and Changes is David Bowie's.  
**

Eric shook his head and insisted, "I can't stay."

Sookie tightened the grip she had on his hand. She was well aware he was stronger and she couldn't hold him if he didn't want to be held, but she didn't want him to go. She didn't even care if they kissed again; not that she would mind it if it happened, but really, all she wanted was to be in his presence, to feel his warmth, and for him to make her smile some more.

"I don't' want you to go, Eric," she said then assured him, nodding, "It's okay. It really is. Stay."

"I … I just don't think it's a good idea, Sookie."

"Why?" she asked.

He shrugged and shook his head. "I should just go."

Why was he being so evasive? She wondered. Had he not felt what she had? She just didn't see how he couldn't have. If there were ever a time she needed him to open up to her, it was now, because she most certainly didn't understand why he was trying to run.

"Eric, please stay, or at least tell me why you won't."

"I … fuck, Sookie," he trailed off, shaking his head; frustration showing clearly on his face. "Please, just let me go," he implored.

She couldn't let him go because for her, when they'd kissed, she'd felt so much. It was like time had stopped and they were the only two people in the world. It had been so full of passion and affection that it had cemented in her mind what she'd begun to suspect, shortly after he'd arrived at her loft - the attraction she'd felt for him wasn't just friendly, or sexual, as she'd originally thought. She'd never anticipated it, or wanted it, for that matter, but the kiss made her realize she was falling for him and she was falling hard.

Kisses like that were never one sided, she told herself. He had to have felt it, too.

She reaffirmed her grip on his hand, for a second time, looking him in the eyes to let him know she wasn't backing down.

"God dammit," he barked, shaking his head. She jumped a little at the tone of his voice, but never let go of his hand or looked away from him. "You wanna know why I can't stay?" He spat. "Because if I stay, I won't be able to keep myself from doing this." All in one motion, he reached up with his free hand, resting it on the side of her face, pulled her to him, using the hand she was holding, and pressed his lips against hers.

He had felt it, she thought, and then she let go, totally immersing herself in the kiss and in Eric.

*s*S*s*

Eric woke up for the first time, in a very long time, with a smile plastered on his face. But then again, how could he not be smiling, after last night. It really had been one of the best days and nights of his life, despite the little bump in the road, he and Sookie'd hit. They'd gotten over it, though, and it only got better after that.

They'd made out on her roof for a couple hours, then some more, all over her loft, till they'd finally ended up in her bed, where they'd eventually fallen asleep in each other's arms.

For him, it was all so new. He'd kissed a lot of women, and had never felt anything like what he'd felt when he'd kissed Sookie. But then again, he'd never really made out with any of them. He'd sort of skipped that whole part of teenage sexual exploration and went straight for the goal, but with Sookie, it was different. Sure, he'd wanted it. In fact, his dick had never been so fucking hard for anyone, but just kissing her and feeling her beneath his touch was enough. The intense feelings he'd felt; he didn't understand them all, but they excited him, none-the-less.

His smile was only made bigger, when he rolled to his left, to find her, feeding Hannah a bottle, beside him. She leaned down, kissed him, and then quickly retreated, smiling.

"Morning," she said, before turning her attentions back to the baby in her lap.

"Good morning," he murmured, huskily.

He wanted to wake up to that every fucking morning, he thought. But then, the reality of what he'd just thought and what had happened the night before came crashing down on him.

All of the sudden, he felt very uncomfortable.

This was all too much for him and he didn't even understand most of it. Were they still friends? Were they dating? Was Sookie his girlfriend? He had no clue. He'd never dated anyone before, or had a girlfriend, or had feelings like the ones he was having, about anyone, and he'd never felt so unsure or confused in his life.

Plus, there was Hannah. How was this going to affect her when it all came crashing down? And he knew it eventually would.

What the fuck were they doing?

"What are we doing?" he blurted out.

"Well, I was thinking maybe we could go out for breakfast," Sookie said. "We could go for beignets," she suggested.

That wasn't what he'd meant, at all, but there was still a part of him clinging to what he'd felt the night before, so he didn't correct her. Instead he agreed and they went out for breakfast.

It wasn't until later; once back at her loft, during Hannah's morning nap, he worked up the nerve to ask her again.

*s*S*s*

"Sookie … Sookie."

She felt something on her arm and she was moving. Someone was nudging her, she realized. And saying her name.

Eric. He was there and none of it had been a dream.

She smiled.

"Sookie," he said, once more, still nudging her.

She rolled over onto her back, finally opening her eyes as she turned. "Hmmm?"

"I … I'm sorry I woke you," Eric said, wincing. He was lying on his side, propped up on his elbow, facing her.

"It's okay," she insisted, rubbing her eyes. Her eyes were dry and itchy, since she'd slept in her contacts twice in a row. "Hannah's alright?"

"She's fine … still napping." He nodded. "I just … I couldn't sleep. I sorta thought we should talk … about us and what's happening," he said nervously, making her heart drop into the pit of her stomach.

She knew he had tendency to close himself off, but after last night and then this morning, she just thought things would be different.

He was about to run. She just knew it.

"This." He motioned between them. "Whatever it is … it's not something I've … uh … done before." He shrugged. "I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I feel like a dumb-ass."

Okay, she thought. So maybe he wasn't going to run. In fact, it seemed he was about to do just the opposite. It seemed he was going to open up to her, like he never had before.

"Tell me how you feel, Eric. I wanna know." She nodded, turning toward him. She really did want to know. She hoped he felt the same as she did.

He sighed. "Sookie, I don't understand any of this … what we're doing … my feelings. I've never felt this way before and I … I don't know." He shook his head. "All I know is I've been with a lot of women, but none of them have ever made me feel the way you do."

She tended to just go with the flow of things, when they felt right, and what he'd said felt so incredibly right, so in the spirit of going with the flow, she leaned forward and kissed him.

As every single kiss they'd shared had been, this one was just as amazing, as far as Sookie was concerned, but apparently Eric didn't feel that way. At least that's how it seemed because right in the middle of it, he pulled away. "What are we doing?"

They were kissing, but she had a feeling that wasn't what he'd meant.

"Are you … does this mean we're together?" he clarified, sheepishly.

The problem was she really wasn't sure of the answer, either. She hadn't exactly had time to think about it; not with the way it had all just happened.

Again, she'd just been going with the flow.

But, she was pretty sure that's what she wanted, she thought. And she hoped it was what he wanted, too. "Is that what you want?"

"I … I don't know, Sookie. I just don't wanna mess things up for us, or Hannah, by going too far." He shook his head then revealed, "I've … this is really embarrassing to admit, but I've never had a girlfriend before."

Eric Northman had never had a girlfriend. She found that hard to believe.

"You've never had a girlfriend?" she asked, surprised.

He shook his head and she realized it sort of made sense. He'd pretty much proven himself, extremely hard to get close to and he'd made it well known his only friend had been Pam. But to think he'd never had a girlfriend; not even when he was a teenager. It was insane.

She realized then, just how far back his issues went – whatever they were. She hoped one day he felt comfortable enough to share with her, whatever it was that had happened to him, to cause him to lead such a solitary life.

She also couldn't help feeling really special because he was letting her into that life.

"I don't want you to be uncomfortable, Eric." She shook her head. "And I don't want to mess things up, either." She reached out to him, placing her hand on his forearm, which was resting between them on the bed. "I don't think we can go back and I … I honestly don't want to." She shook her head. "But we can take things slow and just see where they go, for now." She nodded and smiled.

"I'd like that," he murmured, smiling back at her. For a moment, the mood remained serious, but then, Eric waggled his eyebrows and asked, "Now, where were we?"

"Right about here," Sookie answered, grinning, as she brushed her lips against his.

"Oh … yeah … there." He chuckled, rolling onto his back. "Come here," he beckoned.

And she did.

* * *

Hope you liked it ...


	14. Chapter 14

**I am so late on this. Things got crazy in my RL. Sorry :(  
**

**Thanks to everyone reading this and reviewing. Even though I haven't posted, I'm still getting hits and reviews, and favorites, and alert emails, so y'all must still be out there.**

**Also, thanks to Northwoman, my beta. As usual, she rocks! **

**As I told her, I'm gonna try really hard to get the next chapter to her, by midweek, next week, but I've gotta crazy few days ahead of me, so I'll try my best to get back on more of a weekly posting schedule, but no promises. At least till after the DNC ... it's hear in Charlotte and I work at a hotel, so I've been and will continue to be busy, busy, busy, till the second week of September.**

**As usual, SVM is Charlaine Harris' and Changes belongs to David Bowie.**

Eric had just lain down, reclining on a chaise lounge in the shade, by his pool. After walking over to him, from the table where they'd just had breakfast, Sookie took a seat on his lap, straddling him.

"And just what do you think you're doing?" he inquired playfully, smirking, as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Coyly, she answered, "This," then leaned in, resting her hands on his sides, and kissed him.

It wasn't long before his lips trailed along the side of her neck and his hands expertly worked her breasts, kneading them and pinching her nipples through the thin fabric of her bikini top. In response to his ministrations, she ground herself against his very obvious arousal, hoping desperately this time he wouldn't make them stop.

They'd been together for a whole month and she'd never waited that long with anyone before, but she knew Eric had taken a giant step letting her into his life like he had and he was still unsure about a lot of what he was feeling, so she knew she had to defer to him on this. She knew better than to push him into something he wasn't ready for, but considering his history with women - which he'd been pretty open with her about - it just seemed a little odd they hadn't gone further.

"Do you know what you do to me?" Eric whispered huskily, in her ear.

Did she know what she did to him? Ha! Did he know what he did to her? She wondered. She'd never wanted someone so fucking badly in her whole, entire life. The deep, velvety sound of his voice alone was enough to make her putty in his hands, but when coupled with the soft, wet kisses he was placing on her neck and the feeling of his strong hands on her body, she was totally done for.

"Mmmm," she moaned from atop him as his lips trailed downward along her neck, onto her collarbone then even further, onto the cleavage which spilled out of the triangles covering her breasts.

"I want you, Sookie," he informed her. His lips continued their assault on her chest, but then stopped as he slowly slid the fabric concealing her breasts aside, exposing them. For a moment, he stared at her, looking as if he could devour her whole. "I want you so fucking bad."

The feeling was definitely mutual, she thought as one of his hands cupped her breast and his lips closed around its peak. Her hands went to the back of his head, holding him there. She didn't want him to ever stop.

Heat was coursing through her, and it wasn't because it was August in New Orleans. No. It was all because of him. But, much to her dismay, just as the heat flared enough to reach her core, he dropped his hands to her hips, stilling her, pulled away and then breathily uttered, "We … we should probably cool off."

She was disappointed and she was pretty sure Eric knew it because he almost immediately apologized to her.

He fixed her bathing suit top, scooted over, just a little; making room for her then pulled her down beside him, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm sorry," he soothed, then kissed the top of her head, which she'd rested on his chest.

"Don't be." She snuggled closer to him, tightening her arm around his waist. "I meant it when I told you we'd take things at whatever speed you wanted."

Even if it frustrated the shit of her, she thought.

But he didn't need to know that part. She didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. All this was new to him and if she wanted to keep him – which she really, really did - she needed to respect that.

And she needed to invest in a new vibrator.

***s*S*s***

Sookie was tanning. She loved tanning, and despite the very uncomfortable and raging hard-ons it gave him, Eric loved watching her tan, so he took a moment to enjoy the view. At the very least, he figured, it gave him plenty of good visuals to jerk off to, so in a masochistic sort of way, it was a win/win situation for them both.

She lay on an inflatable lounger built for two, floating atop the water in his pool. The way the mid- morning sun shown down on her, it was like she was totally on display for his very own viewing pleasure. He couldn't help but ogle her from where he sat, on the edge of the pool, as beads of water and sweat randomly formed on her body, and then tricked down her skin, taunting and tempting him.

What he wouldn't give to lick that, he thought, as he watched a lone droplet slide down the outside of her thigh.

Men and boys everywhere spanked it to pictures of shit like that every, single day and he had it, in person and more than willing, in his own back yard, but he was too much of a fucking pussy, apparently, to make a damn move.

Yep, he thought, painfully aware. He'd be rubbing one out, very soon, and probably to the image seared into his mind of the sight in front of him, and then maybe again, to the memory of them earlier.

He was absolutely pathetic.

He was now more intimate with his hand than he remembered ever being. Even when he was twelve, he didn't remember beating it so much.

"You coming out here with me?" Sookie asked; the sweet sound of her voice, momentarily, ripping his mind away from the dirty thoughts accosting his brain. But, of course, he knew they'd be right back as soon as he was near her, swirling in his head like wildfire. "You said you would when you came back out."

He knew being so close to her was only going to add to his discomfort and confusion, but he didn't want to tell her no; especially since he'd already told her yes before he'd gone inside. "Yeah." He nodded. Besides, if there was one thing he wasn't confused about, it was he wanted to be close to her. He craved it, actually.

Why did he keep doing this to himself? Maybe he was a masochist. He sighed and shook his head as he braced himself with his hands on the side of the pool and slid himself, down, into the water. When he reached her, she rolled over onto her stomach and scooted over a bit, allowing him room on the mattress. She propped herself up on her elbows and turned her head to face him, smiling, as he climbed on, taking his place beside her.

The moment he lay back, he was assaulted with her scent and she smelled wonderful – like the sun, chlorine, and cocoa butter – but then again, she always smelled good. And, if he tilted his head just right, he noticed, he got the best view of her boobs with the way she was laying.

God, he wanted to bury his head in them, just like he had earlier. It was the first time he'd seen them uncovered and fuck, they'd been beautiful. Perfect, actually.

But he didn't want a repeat of that. It wasn't one of his best moments. He hated he'd worked Sookie into a frenzy then stopped, giving her no relief. He knew how it felt and it wasn't good. It was one thing for him to make a conscious decision to do it to himself, but to do it to Sookie was another thing, completely. He was a jerk; even though he'd had honorable intentions.

"How was Hannah?" She asked.

Why did she have to smell so good, and damn it, why did she always have to wear the hottest, and possibly, tiniest bikinis he'd ever seen? He wondered. It was all like the most enjoyable torture ever. She drove him absolutely nuts.

"Uh … oh … still sleeping. She sleeps a lot." He smiled.

"She does, but at least it gives us time to be together … alone." She leaned over, kissing him, and then pulled away, smiling.

How long could he keep doing this? Fuck. How long should he keep doing this?

For a moment, he wondered if he should just grab her and kiss her again, and then just get it over with. Fuck her right there on the pool float. But instead, he just shut his eyes.

It was just a tough situation they were in and he didn't have all the answers. Actually, he felt more confused than he'd ever felt in his entire life. Sex was so much easier when there were no feelings, or children, for that matter, involved.

She'd made it pretty damn clear to him she'd wanted him, and he damn sure wanted her, too. Badly. In fact, every time he was with her, he'd end up leaving her with what felt like a steel fucking rod between his legs. Not to mention the fact she was his girlfriend and if he could fuck random women without a second thought, he sort of thought he should definitely be able to fuck her. But in spite of all that, he hadn't even made it past second base with her because in the back of his mind, he knew moving too fast was a surefire way to ruin everything they'd managed to build in the past month.

There was a caveat, too, though, which only made it all that much more baffling to him. He was also beginning to get an overwhelming feeling that going too slow could be just as detrimental to them; especially after earlier, and it scared the hell out of him because deep down, he knew, with Hannah in the picture, they'd already made a huge commitment to one another – one he wasn't totally sure he'd been ready for in the first place.

He sort of felt they'd become committed, the moment they'd kissed and since they'd crossed that line, they now, owed it to Hannah to proceed and make it work; even though he felt the odds were against them. There was no way to back out, no room to deny their feelings, and there was no room for any mistakes if they wanted to do right by her.

The last thing he wanted to do was to screw everything up for everyone, by allowing his dick to do the thinking, but fuck, it didn't seem like his brain was doing any better of a job. If he continued to hold back with Sookie and didn't allow them to move forward, things would still fall apart and if things fell apart between them, there was no way it wouldn't affect Hannah, too.

But what was too fast and what was too slow? What was the happy fucking medium? He had no clue, but he damn sure needed to figure it out and he needed to do it very soon before it was too late.

He didn't want to lose her; that much he at least knew. And it wasn't just because of Hannah; although she did play a part, but mainly, he just thought Sookie was special. She put up with him, genuinely wanted to be around him, and she'd completely taken away his loneliness. None of the other women he'd slept with had ever managed to do any of that; not that he'd given them the chance to.

He could never treat Sookie like he'd treated them. They'd only been a means to get off, but Sookie … well, he was still very unsure and didn't understand everything he was feeling, but he knew she was so much more to him than that.

Sookie was definitely a keeper.

_He turned his head, looking over, to where she was lying beside him, but she wasn't there._

"_She's not here, dipshit," a familiar voice said, then giggled._

_Pam._

_But she was dead. _

_He propped himself up on his elbows and looked around. Where the fuck was she? _

"_I'm right here."_

_He turned his head toward the voice and she appeared beside him, where Sookie'd been._

"_What's happening? How … how's this possible?" he asked, completely perplexed as to what the fuck was going on._

"_I don't know." Pam shrugged. "It's your dream."_

_Oh … a dream, he thought. _

"_I miss you," he said, feeling more at ease._

"_I know, but you shouldn't. You got my Hannah and my girl Sookie. They're all you've ever needed, although I gotta say, I'dve loved it if y'all could have met before I died and had your own damn kid and left mine to me, but if me kicking it was what it took to finally get you and Sookie in the same room with each other, so fucking be it."_

"_I don't know what I'm doing with her, Pam," he said desperately._

"_Yes you do." She smirked. "You know exactly what you're doing," she informed him cryptically as she poked him in the center of his chest._

_He shook his head. "No, Pam, I don't. I am so fucking confused."_

_She giggled. "Typical, Eric … overthinking things, as usual." _

"_What do you mean I'm overthinking things?" He asked. _

_She shook her head and pointed accusingly. "That's why the two of you are so perfect. She never thinks. She just does. You think until your fucking blue in the face and when you've finally made a decision, you second guess yourself and think it over some more then repeat the whole process. You're the perfect yin and yang ... like Milk Duds and popcorn. You both could learn a lot from each other." _

"_This is serious, Pam ... and your talking about junk food." He shook his head. "We have to be able to raise _your _daughter together." He pointed at her. "We've gone too far and now we can't fuck it up!" _

_She giggled again – which made his blood boil – then soothed, "Eric." She shook her head and placed her hand on his shoulder. Suddenly he was completely calm. "Just listen to what your heart's trying to tell you." And then she disappeared._

"Eric … Eric."

"Hmmm?" he mumbled, still not quite able to open his eyes.

"Eric, wake up. You've been asleep about an hour. It's almost noon. You're gonna get burnt."

Sookie, he thought as his hand slid into the water beside him. Water? Fuck! He was still in the pool. He'd been asleep and Pam had been a dream. She'd told him to listen to his heart.

He opened his eyes and saw Sookie hunched over him, shielding his eyes from the bright sun which shined down around her, making her look like the angel she was. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever awoke to and although he'd stifled the thought in the past, he embraced it when the notion of waking up every day to her smiling face crossed his mind.

He smiled as his arm lifted up, reaching for her. Resting his hand on the back of her head; he pulled her down till their lips pressed together, kissing her with everything he had. Every bit of emotion he felt for her, he threw into the kiss.

It was long and hot and he knew she knew exactly what he was trying to tell her, kissing her that way. It didn't end till she crawled on top of him and due to their weight, the mattress started to sink on one side. He wouldn't have let it stop him, but it was the side they were on, sinking.

"Let's go inside," he suggested.

* * *

So ... tell me what you thought!

Also, Congratulations are in order! All the story's submitted to the I Write the Songs contest were great in their own ways, so as a judge, I say you were all winners, but it was a contest, so to those that won, Congratulations! I'd post a link, but this site's apparently gotten smart to the space trick ...

And if you didn't read and vote, it's not too late, you can still read all the great stories and review them ...


	15. Chapter 15

**Since I'm a little later than I'd hoped and since this is sorta a highly anticipated chapter I'm just gonna quickly say thanks to everyone ... including Northwoman, for betaing.**

**And, that SVM is Charlaine Harris' and Changes belongs to David Bowie.  
**

**Here y'all go and enjoy ...  
**

It was really going to happen this time, Sookie thought. Or rather she hoped.

She didn't know what had changed over the course of just a few hours, but something had. But then again, she didn't really care what it was. All she really cared about was the way Eric had kissed her when he'd woken up and the way he'd kissed her since because his kisses had said it all.

They were finally going to sleep together – assuming Hannah didn't wake up before they could - and she was more than ready.

She sat; straddling his lap, as she slowly untied the top of her bikini at her neck, letting it fall loose and her breasts fall free.

"You make me crazy, you know," he murmured as he lay back against the pillows on his bed, gazing up at her.

"I hope in a good way," she said as she watched him, watching her, as his hand reached up and around her, untying the tie at her back. A predatory gleam shone in his eye.

Her top fell completely away and he tossed it onto the floor.

"Definitely in a good way," he insisted huskily, smirking at her, and then gently, he tugged at the strings on each side of her bikini bottoms, till they fell, lying loose, between them.

He grinned then swiftly wrapped his arms around her, pulling her down against him as his head lifted up off the pillows and his lips captured hers with fervor. Their kiss deepened and Eric's tongue plunged into her mouth, plundering it greedily.

She almost felt like she was in a dream.

She'd felt that way since he'd scooped her up into his arms and out of the pool. They hadn't even taken time to dry off; they'd been so caught up in the passion flowing between them as he'd whisked her into his house, then into his bed, kissing her the entire way there.

But what was happening was real and it wasn't a dream; even though it sort of felt that way.

Before she knew it, she was on her back and he was hovering over her.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Sookie." His hand ran over her breasts, lightly, and downward, heading right in the direction she wanted it to go. "Perfect in every way," he whispered as it continued its decent down her stomach till it reached exactly the spot she so desperately wanted it to touch.

He was beautiful and perfect, she thought, dreamily staring up into his eyes.

She felt his finger slide inside her and she closed her eyes, reveling in the glorious sensations it brought her with its ministrations, but those sensations were nothing compared to the ones that attacked her senses when his thumb settled on her clit.

"I'm so lucky to have you," he breathed.

Fuck! She was lucky, too.

And she wasn't just lucky because of what he was so expertly doing to her with his hand … oh … and now with his mouth, she thought, feeling his lips close around her clit.

To think just a few months ago she couldn't stand him and now, they were doing this. And she couldn't imagine not having him in her life. It was so incredible and hard to believe. They were such opposites. But it felt right and he filled her with inspiration like no one else ever had.

Suddenly, she realized something and it was something big. Something huge.

She realized she just might love him.

*s*S*s*

The moment Sookie was naked, Eric had felt like a kid in a candy store; not knowing where to even start.

In the words of John Mayer; he thought, her body was indeed a wonderland. Better than a fucking wonderland, actually.

He'd eventually found his way between her legs and was now tasting her like she was the last meal on earth. She tasted of pure goodness, so delicious and so sweet. To him, her pussy was like nectar from the gods - the sweetest ambrosia - and he was instantly addicted. He'd never get enough of it and he hated he'd waited so long to try it.

As he suckled and laved her, he watched her as her chest rose and fell harder and harder and as her body squirmed beneath his touch and he watched her face. God, her beautiful face. It was even more beautiful to him as she teetered on the edge, completely at his mercy.

Her eyes were squeezed tightly shut and she was biting her bottom lip. It was the hottest thing he'd ever fucking seen and he wanted to watch it all day, but unfortunately, he knew Hannah would be up soon and also, after this morning, he needed to give Sookie what she deserved.

And that, he realized, was to come.

So he let her.

"Open your eyes … watch me," he'd requested and she did. Barely.

He crooked his finger, slightly, hitting just the right spot, apparently.

Her eyes went wide. "Oh fuck!" she uttered, shuddering beneath him as she flew over the edge she'd been teetering on, just as he'd hoped she would. "Fuck … fuck … fuck me," she drawled, breathily.

"Oh … I intend to," he promised as he popped up from between her legs, smirking.

She giggled; a sultry smile plastered on her face. "I didn't mean it like that, but please do," she said very matter-of-factly, despite the fact she was still very out of breath. "I'm all yours."

Chuckling, he leaned over, reaching into his nightstand; never taking his eyes off her. He rummaged around, finally pulling out a condom, and then he made good on his promise.

*s*S*s*

From the moment his cock had slid inside her, he'd been overcome with emotions - some of which, he recognized, but others, he didn't even know what they were. They were all so strong and so overwhelming.

Sex had never been like that for him before.

For him, sex had always, more-or-less, been a series of steps, designed to get him, and whoever he happened to be with, off. It was plain and simple and very enjoyable for everyone involved.

But with Sookie, it wasn't like that at all. It was still enjoyable – immensely enjoyable - but the steps had gone flying out the window. There was nothing plain and simple about what they were doing, yet in a way, it was the plainest and simplest thing he'd ever done.

It made no sense, yet made perfect sense.

Fuck! He was losing his god damn mind!

But luckily, he didn't need it because with her, he'd completely let go, forgetting about everything else and just did whatever felt natural with little to no thought at all. He didn't worry about what was good for him, or her, or what would make them reach their peaks and send them shooting over them, into oblivion; instead, he let everything he was feeling guide him and control him and the result was possibly the best sex he'd ever had in his life.

And he'd had a lot of sex. Really good sex.

But this was … he didn't know what it was. Every kiss, every touch, every time he moved his hips, plunging himself inside her … there weren't words even capable of describing it. Amazing, incredible, magnificent, spectacular, mind-blowing – none of them were enough and he knew they'd never be.

He looked down at her, lying beneath him. Her eyes were closed again, but this time her lips were parted slightly. With the tips of his fingers, he touched her face. "I've never felt like this before," he admitted quietly.

She opened her eyes, smiling dreamily, up at him and placed her finger over his lips to quiet him. "Just go with it," she said breathily. "Let it take you where it takes you."

God, he suddenly wanted to kiss her, so he went with it, just like she'd told him to and did.

Crashing his lips into hers, he slipped his tongue into her mouth, languidly exploring its depths as he slowed his thrusts to a matching rhythm. His hands were all over her, as were hers on him, but when they found each other, their fingers twined together, tightly.

They were as close to becoming one as they could possibly be and he wanted to stay that way with her forever.

Succumbing to their need for oxygen, their kiss eventually broke. He pulled away, but only slightly, resting his forehead against hers while maintaining his long, hard thrusts, in and out of her.

After taking a few breaths, apparently still going with it, he proclaimed, "I think I love you, Sookie."

He hadn't meant to say it. He knew words like that should never be said lightly, but he hadn't even realized he was saying them or that it was even how he felt, till the words just slipped out of his mouth.

But they damn sure summed everything up. Everything. All the feelings and all the emotions which had been and were still permeating throughout him.

It was all so much simpler than he'd ever realized.

He loved her.

*s*S*s*

"I think I love you, too," Sookie managed to get out, right before she lost her ability to speak.

The pressure - which had been building inside her, ever since Eric had slid that perfect dick of his into her depths – reached its limit, resulting in an explosion of massive proportions. Her body tingled and her chest heaved as she went, reeling on a whirlwind of bliss.

She'd had a lot of great sex before, often under the influence of mind-altering substances and often leading to very spiritual experiences, but the sex she was having with Eric, right now, had taken her to another spiritual plane completely. She couldn't see, or speak. All she could do was moan and writhe beneath him as he continued driving into her faster and faster, in a way that somehow made her orgasm keep coming and coming. It felt never-ending and wonderful and she'd never experienced anything like it before.

He grunted then pressed into her, hard, as far as he could go, one last time, and just when she thought she could come no more, he joined her in her ecstasy. Not that she'd ever stopped to begin with; she moaned as he swelled inside her. Moaning right along with her, his back went rigid and every muscle in his body tensed, and then he completely relaxed, collapsing on the bed beside of her.

Her heart pounded, she couldn't catch her breath, and she couldn't open her eyes or move; even if her life depended on it. But she was pretty sure she was smiling, though.

It was just going to take a minute for her to come down off her high.

It apparently took more than a minute because when she finally opened her eyes, she was under the covers and Eric was nowhere to be found.

A note; however, was lying beside her on the nightstand.

_Hey, sleepy-head,_

_I didn't want to wake you, you looked so peaceful._

_Hannah and I headed out for the day. _

_You're more than welcome to stay here if you want. Make yourself at home. Dawn and Hannah'll be here around 6:30. _

_If you do decide to leave, then lock up, but I hope you'll stay. I'd love to come home tonight, after work, to you, naked, in my bed._

_Love,_

_E_

His offer was very, very tempting, but there were a few problems with it.

First, all she had was her bathing suit and a cover-up. Sure, she found the idea of him coming home to her naked in his bed, just as appealing as he apparently did, but she'd eventually have to get dressed and to do that, she needed to go home.

Also, she had a few deadlines coming up, so she knew she needed to paint and she had to go home to do that, too.

No. As much as she wanted to stay at Eric's, she couldn't and it was a shame.

She didn't get to see him nearly as much as she'd like.

Over the course of the past month, he'd practically treated her like his queen, but that didn't change the fact that most of their contact had been over the phone or in the form of gifts. They just didn't see each other a lot and it really bothered Sookie sometimes.

A day here, a morning there. That was it. In a month, they'd managed to fall in love, but they'd only seen each other ten times, tops. Something was seriously wrong with that picture, she thought.

But she didn't want to allow herself to dwell on it. It only made her feel selfish. It wasn't like he had a choice. He was working. And she most certainly wasn't going to complain to him about going to the gym, so often; not after seeing his body, in its entirety, today.

So eventually, she left her pity-party behind and crawled out of his bed. Picking her bikini up off the floor, she put it back on, went downstairs, gathered her belongings, and left; thankful for the time she did get to spend with the man she loved.

*s*S*s*

As Eric knocked on Sookie's heavy, metal door, he hoped she was awake; or at the very least, not too pissed if he woke her. She wasn't expecting him, but he figured since she was his girlfriend, a pop-in visit was probably okay.

Dawn had texted him, just as he'd started home, letting him know she'd decided to spend the night at his house, so instead of going home, which had been his original plan, he'd made a spur-of-the-moment, drunken decision to go to Sookie's and calling first hadn't even crossed his mind till he'd already knocked on her door.

When she opened it, he sort of wished he'd called, though.

As the door slid open the smell of pot hit him right in the face, making it impossible to ignore the fact she used drugs. Over the past month, he'd found it easiest to deal with, if he kept himself in denial of her habit.

But it was sort of hard to do that when her loft smelled like a fucking Dutch coffee shop.

"Eric!" she exclaimed, smiling as she immediately wrapped him into a tight bear-hug.

For a moment as her body pressed against his, he thought, he could do this. All he had to do was ignore the odor in her loft and the glassy look in her eyes. It was completely doable; especially given how drunk he was.

Trying to do just that, he touched his lips to hers, kissing her and somehow, it worked.

At least, until morning it worked.

* * *

So ... as y'all can see, they are in love, but they still have a few issues with themselves and each other to work out.

So, the next chapter will be much more serious and not quite as light ...

Just a forewarning.

Now that, that's out of the way, tell me what you thought!


	16. Chapter 16

I'm back! I know, it's been a long time!

My plan is to finish this one up. I don't think they'll be many chapters left. I'm hoping to get a chapter up a week for the next few weeks till it's finished.

Since it's been so long, here's a quick recap ...

Sookie and Eric's best friend Pam passed away, leaving them guardianship of her baby. Eric's a bit of a loner and serious businessman and Sookie's a free-spirited artist, so of course, they didn't get along well ... at first ...

But the more time they spent together figuring out how to be parents, the more they started to like each other.

After both denying their growing attraction and feelings, they couldn't hold them back anymore on the 4th of July ... The sky wasn't the only place fireworks were happening that night ... although, a little later, they decided to take it slow.

But slow didn't last long and they finally made love and professed their love for one another, only, there were a few lingering issues between them that still needed settled ...

And that brings us to this current chapter!

Hope you all enjoy it!

And as always ... these characters belong to Charlaine Harris ... not me!

* * *

The sun had just started to peek up over the horizon as Eric sat on the ground in front of Pam's grave, lazily picking at the blades of grass that covered the ground beneath him with one of his hands. With the other, he clutched a nearly empty bottle of bourbon he'd taken from Sookie's when he'd left.

He probably shouldn't have left her like he had, without leaving a note, but he had to get out of there for a bit to clear his head. He'd ended up in his car, driving on autopilot, till he'd arrived where he was – the cemetery that housed his deceased best friend.

Lifting the bottle to his lips, he took a drink. "What the fuck am I supposed to do?" He shook his head and sighed, then ran his fingers through his tangled head of hair. "I … I think I really love her, Pam." He took another long sip. "And I know I can't force her to make any changes she doesn't want to; especially if I don't tell her how I feel or why I feel that way.

"Hell, I don't even know if any of that would matter. It sure as shit didn't with you." He shook his head. "But I also didn't worry about you, like I do her." He shrugged. "No offense, though. I still worried about you, but the two of you are … or were … at totally different ends of the spectrum. I mean, I don't think she's an addict or anything. She's nothing like _they_ were, but I just worry that one day what happened to them will happen to her and it scares the living shit out of me."

Still plucking at the grass around him, he took another drink as his mind wandered back to the not so distant past, to a memory that had shaped his life into what it was today, more profoundly than any other.

_It was his sixteenth birthday. He'd hurried home from school, too excited not to. He just knew he was coming home to a brand new car. Not any car either. No. He was getting the Corvette he'd wanted ever since he was old enough to understand the different types of cars he saw on the road. A cherry red one, with T-tops, was what he was getting. His dad had told him as much, just the night before._

_Upon his arrival, the first indication something wasn't right was the fact there was no new car in the driveway. His parents did have a habit of letting him down, but never on his birthday and never over something big like a new car. _

_No. His dad would be there any minute, he convinced himself, trying not to be too disappointed. He'd gotten home a bit earlier than normal, and he just knew that at any moment, his dad would pull up out front._

He never fucking did, though, Eric thought, taking another long swig – the last one - from the bourbon he was drinking before tossing the bottle away as he remembered the rest of what happened that awful day.

_The second indication something was wrong came when he went inside. It was too quiet – eerily so. Usually when he got home from school the house was booming with staff that ran amuck as they cleaned, cooked, and took care of the grounds the house sat on, but apparently not today._

_A little weirded out, he called out, "Mom … Dad … Are you home?"_

_He didn't get a response._

_Thinking they may not have heard him, since the house was pretty big, he headed upstairs. His dad's office was empty – no one in there – and so was the library and the sitting room, where his mom liked to hang out all the time, watching her soaps and talk shows._

_Where the hell is everyone? He wondered._

_He found out, all too soon, when he turned the corner into the corridor where the house's bedrooms were located. His parents' bedroom door was slightly ajar and he could see them lying in bed, seemingly asleep._

"_Mom … Dad," he said, in an attempt to get their attention, knowing they didn't like him barging into their room. _

_It didn't work. _

_Panic took over, and he pushed open the door and ran into the room. He found his parents weren't sleeping as he'd originally thought. No. They definitely weren't sleeping. Instead, they were dead._

He cringed, remembering what they'd looked like – the needle sticking out of his dad's arm and the pool of vomit his mom was lying in. He could still see a clear picture of it in his mind, even after all that time. It had been a huge shock and he'd never felt so betrayed in his whole entire life.

But how could he not have known? He wondered.

There was a simple answer to that question, yet he'd tried really hard through the years to not think about it. But the truth was, he had known. All the signs had been there – all the activities they'd missed, all the parties they went to, and all the nights they locked themselves in their room, instructing him not to come in for any reason.

Plus, by the time they'd actually passed away, he'd overheard things around the house, both from them and the staff and he was old enough to know exactly what those things meant. He just never wanted to believe any of it until he was forced to that fateful day.

"I … fuck! I let them die, Pam," he admitted. "I've never said that out loud before, but damn it, _I let them die_. And that's why I have to tell her about them right now," he said matter-of-factly.

He couldn't wait any longer, so he jumped up off the ground, got himself back to his car, and on his way to Sookie's.

*s*S*s*

It was shaping up to be a gorgeous day – sunny and hot with just the right amount of breeze. It was the perfect day to practice yoga on her rooftop sanctuary with one of her best friends, but in all honesty, nothing about it, aside from the weather, felt perfect. She wasn't the slightest bit centered in her practice and she felt pretty much like shit.

Lafayette was at least having a good morning, she couldn't help but notice. He exhaled, transitioning from Plank down to Chaturanga, and then inhaled up into Upward Facing Dog in one fluid motion.

"How's you and that hot hunk of baby daddy you snagged doin'?" He asked as he exhaled; his head turned in her direction as he pressed himself up into the next pose of the Sun Salutation - Downward Facing Dog.

That was the problem. Sookie wished she knew. She'd woken up this morning to find him gone and she still hadn't heard from him. It had only been a couple hours since she woke up, but she wasn't sure when he'd actually left and she was really starting to worry.

As she inhaled up into Warrior Pose, she shrugged her shoulders, instead of reaching her arms up to the sky, and then she crumpled to her mat, instead of moving on to the next pose in the sequence. "I wish I knew, Laf." She shook her head. "I really wish I knew."

She'd texted him twice already, to no avail, and then called him with similar results. She'd been trying her best to keep positive thoughts, ever since she'd woken up alone, but it was getting harder and harder to do as more time passed with no response.

Something could have happened to him … or Hannah.

Her mind was starting to run a bit wild, which was only making her crazier. She normally didn't get freaked out like this and she wasn't really quite sure how to take it. But they shared a kid – a little, sweet defenseless baby - and it just wasn't like him to not keep in touch.

She also couldn't help but wonder if she'd somehow done something to push him away. Had they moved too fast? She didn't think they had and she'd felt she'd given him all the control. But it certainly would explain him sneaking out on her and not returning her calls.

Lafayette's workout came to a sudden halt and he moved over from his mat to hers, taking a seat beside her. "Ah, girl. Did somethin' happen? He didn't hit you, did he? I _will_ cut him if he hit you."

Sookie giggled a melancholy sort of laugh, and then sighed, shaking her head. "Nobody's cutting anyone and he didn't hit me. Why would you even ask me that?" That question had been way out of left field in her opinion.

"I saw how he reacted the day me and Claude met him. He's got a temper," he pointed out. "Anyway, just makin' sure." He shrugged and winked with a goofy grin plastered on his face. "Nobody hurts my girl and gets away with it."

She smiled. "That's why I love you, Laf." She wrapped her arm around his shoulders giving him a squeeze. "You're the best friend a girl could have."

"I know," he said cockily, as he smiled and winked again before crawling on all fours over to his gym bag. "And I'm gonna be an even better friend when you get a taste of this." He pulled a tiny baggy filled with yellowish powder out of it, holding it out to her.

"Is that …?"

"Molly," he answered before she had a chance to finish asking. "And it's good shit." He nodded. "Just a little and you won't have a care in the world, girly."

That was exactly what she needed to get her mind off her worries, so she quickly took the bag from him and sprinkled about a half of its contents into her bottle of water, shook it, and then she took a drink.

Lafayette did the same as he asked, "So if he didn't hit you, what the hell happened?"

"That's just it. I have no clue what happened," she explained, shaking her head. "He came over last night and I thought we had a really good time, but when I woke up this morning, he was just gone." She took another gulp of her water.

"And you ain't heard from him since?"

She shook her head as she secured the cap and sat the bottle back down on the ground by her mat. "No. And I know it's only been a little while, but he always calls or texts … or something … and I just don't know why he hasn't. It's just not like him. What if something happened to him or Hannah? Or what if I did something?"

Lafayette was silent for a moment or two. She couldn't help but think he looked a little shocked as she watched him, doing what she assumed was mulling over all she'd told him in his head. Finally, after what felt like forever, his shit-eating grin returned and he finally spoke.

"You in love!"

"What?" She shrieked, a bit surprised and unsure of how to respond.

"Don't even!" Lafayette drew, waving his finger in her face. "You in love. I ain't ever seen you wound so tightly over anything in my life. You in love." A devious smile crept across his face. "And that means you sampled the goods!" He grabbed her shoulder. "Tell me all about it, girl. I wanna know all about it!"

"Lafayette." She shook her head.

"Come on. Don't play coy with me, girl. I know it's all an act." He waggled his eyebrows. "You gotta give me somethin'? At least tell me if he's proportionate?"

Sookie buried her head in her hands, blushing, and then started to giggle.

"He is!" Lafayette squealed. "I knew it!"

"He is," Sookie said; still hiding her head and unable to stop giggling. "He is. He sooooo is." The giggling continued on for what felt like an eternity, then suddenly, she sat up and got really serious. "He hasn't called, or texted me, or anything, Lafayette. What the fuck?"

Like the diva he was, Lafayette responded, "Yeah … what the fuck, girl? It's only been a few hours. Don't get your panties all up in a bunch just yet." He playfully shoved her shoulder. "He's probably at home sleeping it off after a night with your crazy ass."

* * *

So, as I said, the next chapter should be up sometime next week.

Hope you enjoyed this one! Be sure to tell me if you did!


	17. Chapter 17

I really thought I'd have this one posted sooner, but I think it's been less than a week, so it's all good!

As always, everything belongs to Charlaine Harris ...

and ...

Hope you enjoy the chapter!

* * *

It had been one hell of a morning, Eric thought, leaning back against the wall of the elevator, just as it began its ascent.

Looking down at his watch, he saw it was barely noon. He was tired, hot, and hungover; not to mention both angry and disappointed in himself.

How in the hell could he have let himself spin so far out of control? He wondered. He'd really fucked up, big time.

After the morning he'd had, he felt pretty much like shit, and wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed and sleep, but he was finally getting back to Sookie's and there was just so much he needed to tell her and explain, so he knew that wasn't an option.

He'd probably need to start with where he'd been for the past several hours and why he hadn't returned her calls or texts, he realized, cringing as the elevator dinged and the door slid open.

He stepped out into the hall and started toward her door. He reached it and knocked, realizing it was probably going to be one hell of an afternoon, too. She'd probably be pissed at the fact he'd been MIA since before six and his explanation as to where he'd been the past few hours probably wouldn't bode well for him, either.

Then there was the rest – telling her about his parents and exactly how he felt about her drug use.

Yeah … none of what he had to tell her would go over well, he thought, just as her door slid open.

"Eric!" Sookie squealed, smiling as she threw her arms around him and buried her head in his chest, giggling. "I'm so glad you're alive!"

She didn't seem upset in the slightest and that took him a bit by surprise. A warm welcome hadn't even been a possibility in his mind. But he sure was getting one, he thought. Only it didn't feel right at all. Something about it was way off. She should have been pissed off at him, not all smiley, giggly, and happy to see him.

"I missed you," she drew, sweetly before taking a step backward, out of his arms. Grabbing his hand, she tugged him inside, out of the hallway and into her loft.

Stepping forward, he followed her in then turned around, sliding the heavy metal door shut firmly behind him. When he turned back to face her, she was standing there, looking up at him, absolutely beaming with the goofiest smile he'd ever seen.

One good look at her and suddenly, he realized the reason for the overly warm welcome he'd received and it wasn't something he'd been prepared to deal with; not after the morning he'd had. He couldn't believe he hadn't picked up on it the moment she'd answered the door.

He shook his head and accused, "You're high on something."

She nodded and shrugged, still smiling from ear to ear as if it were no big deal.

And it may not have been to her, he realized, but to him it was huge.

"How can you just stand there like that?" He pointed at her. "Like this is no big deal?" He asked, trying to not to let his frustration get the best of him.

Sookie shrugged again. "It isn't a big deal. I'm fine." She started to giggle again. "Better than fine, actually."

He sighed and shook his head. "Y_ou_ are _not_ fine!" he countered, firmly, raising his voice a little. "And this is a very big deal to me, Sookie! I can't stand it you do this to yourself!"

He was starting to think it may be best if he just walked away before he said a bunch of stupid shit he didn't mean. There was no way they could have any sort of real discussion about this, or any of the other things he'd wanted to talk to her about, with her high as a kite and with him in the mood he was in. But, at the same time, he wasn't sure if he should leave her alone in the state she was in.

Seeming a bit taken aback, she timidly asked, "Why are you being so mean? Are you mad at me?"

"Yes!" he spat matter-of-factly. Although he wasn't just mad at her. At that particular moment, he was mad at just about everything.

"Please don't be mad," she begged as she wrapped her arms tightly around him, like she was holding on to him for dear life. "Be happy, pleeeeeeease."

For just a miniscule bit of a nanosecond, he wanted to smile. There was something about her hippy-dippy simplicity that made him want to do just what she'd said, but he couldn't just be happy. He certainly wished it was possible, but at the time, it just wasn't. As far as he was concerned, the whole day had been shot to hell and it was barely even half over yet.

"Tell that to someone who didn't spend the whole morning in jail," he said, shaking his head.

She peeked up at him, looking completely amazed. "You were in jail?" She sounded amazed, too, he thought.

"Uh … yeah, but I really think that's a conversation for later."

And he was right. Next thing he knew, she was up off the couch, dancing around her loft. It was almost like he wasn't even there.

He'd called it before he'd even walked into her loft, he thought. It was definitely gonna be one hell of an afternoon, just not for the reasons he'd thought.

*s*S*s*

Sookie woke, snuggled into Eric's side. His arm was wrapped around her back, holding her body tightly against his. He was awake, she'd noticed because the TV was on and she could feel his fingers moving in gentle circles on her hip, where his hand was resting.

"Hey." She tilted her head up; smiling at him. "How long was I asleep?" she asked, yawning.

"About five hours. You fell asleep a little before two and now it's a little after seven," he answered. "You feel okay?"

"Mm hmm." She nodded then cringed, thinking about how pissed off Eric had been when he'd gotten to her loft. He'd made it perfectly clear he wasn't happy with her; although, she really didn't get why. She was honestly surprised and glad he'd stayed and he hadn't lost his cool with her any more than he did. Although, now she was stone-cold sober, she supposed he still could. "You still angry?" she asked, sheepishly.

He shook his head. "I never really was mad at you, Sookie. I was mostly just pissed at myself. But I _was_ really worried about you. I didn't know what you'd taken or how much … I don't like being worried about you."

"Eric, I appreciate your concern." She nodded. "I really, really do, but I was fine," she insisted. "I was really fine. It was just a little Molly … er … Ecstasy," she amended, realizing he may not know what Molly was, since he wasn't really into that sort of thing.

"I know you were fine," he agreed. "That all became very apparent when I watched you dance around your loft for almost two hours straight," he chuckled, rolling his eyes.

"What can I say?" she giggled. "I got moves!"

"That you do," he agreed, smirking and waggling his eyebrows. "But seriously, Sookie, I don't wanna make light of this, just because you were fine _this_ time. You still scared the shit out me," he maintained, very seriously. "You scare the shit out of me every time you use _any_ drugs. I've told you before I don't like them."

"I'm sorry if I worried you," she said. "But there's no reason for you to be scared, Eric."

"But there is, Sookie," he retorted. "I've never told you much about my parents, have I?"

She shook her head. He'd never told her anything about them at all, aside from the fact they'd passed away years ago and they were from Sweden.

"They were heroin addicts – functioning ones because they could afford their habit, but addicts none-the-less," he revealed. "It killed them, and I let it happen. They tried to hide it, but I knew and I didn't do anything. I didn't want to believe it." He shook his head. "I know you aren't dependent on drugs like they were, Sookie, but it still scares me when you abuse them."

Wow! She thought. She was completely shocked and saddened by what he'd just shared. She'd had no clue. And he blamed himself. That explained a whole lot about why Eric was the way he was, she realized.

But, to her, his fear for her was a bit irrational.

There was a huge difference between being addicted to heroin and her casual use. And the drugs she used weren't anything like heroin. That was like the mother of all drugs, she thought. Well, that and maybe crack and meth. But she wouldn't touch any of those. She knew better than that.

She'd be fine and he really didn't need to worry so much.

"Eric, I'm so sorry that happened. I … well, I couldn't even imagine." She shook her head. "But you didn't let that happen and that isn't going to happen to me," she promised him.

"You don't know that," he insisted, shaking his head. "Look, just think about it," he urged. "That's all I'm asking. I love you, Sookie, and it would kill me if anything like that ever happened to you," he informed her solemnly. "I don't want you to think I'm telling you how to live your life. I'm in no position to do that. Lord only knows, I've made a lot of dumbass decisions; especially lately." He sighed.

"Like getting arrested this morning?" She asked.

She'd remembered him mentioning that earlier when he'd first arrived at her loft and his comment about dumbass decisions had been the perfect segway, since she was curious about it; not to mention, he sort of owed her an explanation, since he'd left her before the sun came up without even leaving a note. And, she just wanted to shift the attention off of her and get away from the drug talk.

His eyes went wide at her mention of his arrest and his face turned beet red. She figured he was probably embarrassed and probably thinking he was in trouble.

Now, she felt sort of bad for asking. But she couldn't take it back, so she goaded him on, figuring maybe she could make him feel a little more at ease.

"Didn't think I'd remember that little detail, huh?" She asked, hovering over him as she pinched his nipple through the fabric of his t-shirt, trying to lighten the mood.

"Ow!" he shouted, chuckling. "I was sorta hoping you'd forgotten that." He shrugged. "Now I guess it's your turn to be mad at me, but can you do it while we're getting dressed?" he asked. "Dawn and Ashley have been stuck watching Hannah for about the past twenty-four hours, so I think I should probably get home and I'd really like you to come with me." He kissed her then bent down, reaching to the floor by the bed. A second later, he popped back up, with his pants in his hand. "Plus, I sorta need a ride. The Camaro's still in impounded and I never went home to get the Audi."

It had worked, she thought.

"Of course I'll go with you and I'll take you to get your car tomorrow." She nodded, giggling. "And I'm_ so_ not mad, Eric," she assured him as she sat up in the bed beside him. "Only picking on you." She stole one more quick kiss, and then she stood and started toward her bathroom. "But I would like to know what happened. Where'd you go and how did you end up in jail?"

As she began washing her face, he answered her. "Well, you know how drunk I was when I got here last night and that I kept on drinking?"

She looked out at him from her bathroom, nodding; her face covered in foam and soap. He stood by her bed, slipping on his very wrinkly slacks.

"Well, when I left here this morning, I was still really drunk. I went to Pam's grave to clear my head and I was actually on my way back here when I got pulled over," he explained. "I blew a .22 and they took me straight to jail. They're probably gonna take my license too."

"Ya think?" Sookie asked facetiously, poking her now clean face outside the bathroom, again. He was now sitting on the corner of her bed, putting on his shoes and socks.

"Yeah … probably," he admitted, nodding. "But my lawyer's really good," he joked, looking over in her direction.

She rolled her eyes, then leaned back inside her bathroom and started to brush her teeth.

By the time she came back out, Eric was dressed and much more serious. He was sitting on the edge of her bed, holding his head in his hands. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his neck then leaned down and kissed the top of his head.

"I'm sorry that happened to you," she said, quietly. "And that you had a crappy morning."

"I never should have left here," he muttered. "I really fucked up. I could have killed someone."

She crouched down in front of him and placed her hand on his cheek. "But you didn't."

Taking her hand from the side of his face in his, he kissed it then shook his head. "I'm not gonna drink anymore, at least not for a while. I've always liked to drink … a lot," he said matter-of-factly. "But it's gotten way out of hand, lately." He shrugged. "I see that now, so I guess in a fucked up sort of way, getting arrested was actually a good thing for me."

Sookie had to admit she was a bit shocked again, by what he was telling her. She hadn't realized his drinking was that much of a problem. But, they had only known each other a few months, she thought. And he did drink almost every time they were together. She'd actually seen him really drunk a few times.

"I … I had no idea … any of this," she said, still shocked. "I … I didn't realize."

"Neither did I till this morning … at least not the severity of it all." He shrugged. "Hey. I know I ran out on you this morning and I probably have no right to ask, but will you do something for me?" he questioned.

She nodded. "Whatever you need."

"Will you stay with me for a while? Just till … well, a few days … a week. I don't know." He shook his head.

"Of course," she answered. "Of course I will. However long you need."

* * *

So ... he's at least contemplating getting his shit together, she's not taking him all that seriously about her issues, and she's moving in ... at least for a while ...

What could possibly happen next?

Tell me what you thought!


End file.
